Craptions Classics August 21, 2007

When Ryan constantly left work early to "wet his beak," everyone just assumed he was an alcoholic.

JabberBody

Other Craptions

John normally followed the rules. Never let it near bright light and didn't feed it after midnight. But he was curious about never getting it wet.

D.V.A.

When Rahul added a hint of Herbal Essence into his bird-cleaning formula, he did not know what to expect.

Pope Wang XXX

Tired of 'choking his chicken', Abdul decides to 'water torture his hawk'.

Anonymous

"Wait! That's what bukkake is?"

"Yeah, dude. What did you think it was?"

T-Flex

It is widely known that the iguana, when threatened, can shoot a stream of blood out of its eyes to disorient its attacker.
Less known is that the peregrin falcon has the ability to shoot waterbottles out of his for no apparent reason at all.

Pedestrian

A recovered photo from the CIA's less controversial technique, Water-Birding.

Matt

After this unfortunate incident, now liquids AND hawks are no longer allowed on airplanes

Spirit

Americans often tested torture tactics on animals first. Why they chose hawks, no one is really sure.

bobboringbaker

Dave assumed that vodka would be the best solution for cleaning his russian falcon.

jkapenga

When the bird finally freed itself, it immediately flew to Washington to peck out the eyes of those idiots who insist that water boarding isn't torture.

TwistedMonkey

Cut me Micky. Cut me!

grafton

And that's how i lost my eye

metalupyourass

Shampoo, rinse and repeat.

bottleboy
Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

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