Craptions Classics April 23, 2007

It took a lot of persistance.
It took a lot of courage.
It took a lot of alcohol.
It took him 67 years.

Ed was finally getting a threesome.

Indolentron.

Other Craptions

Attn. Residents of the Sunny Valley Nursing Home: Some of your medication has accidentally been replaced with Ecstasy. We regret the inconvenience.

Juan Perez

Some things never change, like Herb offering his locally famous mustache rides after about three whiskey's.

Howie Pheltersnach

Dementia hung in the air like fear at a circus.

Hando

"...and made entirely out of marzipan, you say?"
"Yes. Break a piece off, Sheila, it's delicious!"

Adam

"See how Mildred looks like a man? No?

How about now?"

Schmee

The walrus fly trap is the deadliest of predators.

Lord Cownostril

Malcom put it on for a bit of a laugh, but his "Official Breast Inspector" badge had already got him four phone numbers and these three ladies were all but in the bag too.

Smithy

"And I would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you pesky grannies."

Celestial Gold

Mario: 75 years later and still going strong.

rikitybridge

If you ruffle it you can still smell me from last night.

jgibbsjr

"Mary! its like silk! come feel!"

hoho

Honesly ladies... I'd fuck you in your cunts didn't smell like the Hudson River. www.NeilsNotes.com

Ranger

Once Fred had convinced the women that his facial was the mustache of youth, it was easy to drop the roofies into their wine. He was never too old for a good date rape.

Gigliorominomicon

The Metamucial got Sherman all kinds of bitches

mrtitoman
Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!