Other Craptions

Steven Seagal, Hitler, and a Genie walk into a bar...

This is what happens when you try to divide by zero.

Not knowing that huffing was a gateway drug, Steven Seagal's movie carrier began to go down hill when he found himself moving onto stronger drugs such as mustard-gas-wrestling.

When Satan lights a fart, it's less humorous than expected.

Ashton finally punk'd the wrong mother fucker!

It's a fact that communism was spread by air-born spores.

The atmosphere in the new Club Vesuvius was hazy at best.

"...and from that day on, I have never ate Mexican food again."

"So", the reporter asked, "Has the taxpayers money been spent responsibly in the war on terror? "Ummmmmmmm", replied the president.

"Does somebody smell McDonalds?"

No amount of tough love was going to bring that stripper back.

Dammit, Billy, what have I told you about huffing pixie stix!? Wait until your mother hears of this.

DAMNIT HITLER, would you please STOP FARTING!

This is the greatest pot ever!

PSA: Smoking Soylent Red won't get you high. IT'LL GET YOU DEAD! www.NeilsNotes.com

Dude, what did you eat?

Ever wonder what a happy release looks like between man and beast? Here you go.....

Having tried Napalm, Nuclear weapons and a Diamond coated Hacksaw, Seagal realised his only line of defence against Chuck Norris was to spray a load of red shit and run... taking a hostage on the way.

The new Rennaisance Faire attraction: a mythical half-Rutger Hauer, half-Mariah Carey beast.

The Genie soon realized that Steven Seagal was not interested in Ironic Granting of his wishes. "You know damn well Genie I meant JAMAICAN red to smoke"

the episode of trading spaces that never quite made the cut

In an attempt to brighten officer's spirits, Detroit area riot police were given seasonal yuletide tear gas.

One part performance art, one part solicitation.

no shit, so this is the place where the cock cocks clan hang out?

Steven Seagal rescues boy from fire. Later it is determined that he was actually pushing him in.

Steven Seagal takes the Fourth of July a little too seriously.

It was described as the worlds biggest flop, when the pope let slip the words, "now get naked and bow down!"

This marks Seagal's 1672th victum! also his 1543rd neck break.

And in related news, a recent interrogation at Guantanamo Bay went suddenly awry...

When Rosie O'Donnell farts after eating at Taco Bell...everybody pays! www.NeilsNotes.com

"I said NO SMOKING!"

And we thought Tonya Harding was the ballsiest cheater.

When Amsterdam goes mad

You know those creepy Beneful commercials with the guy having a creepy relationship with his dog...yeah...this is what they don't show you.

As part of their "too much of a good thing" deterrence program, Slovak police officers give the hippies more than they can handle.

When Satan asks you to "Come back to his pad to smoke some really good shit!", you might wanna think twice.

"Booty Shake, Booty Shake. Patty Cake. Snap your fingers. Kick with the left. Now with the right. BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!!"

You still wanna make fun of my Pony tail?

Where will you be when Diarrhea strikes?

With only enough room left in hell for Steve's legs, Satan was left with an embarrising predicament.

Ryan makes the mistake of starting a bar fight with an evil wizard.

yeah boyyy eat my smoke

Yeah, but where did the smoke bombs come from?

Safety...

Smoke had always been pissed since Sub-Zero and Scorpion fed him red dye.

Steve closed his yes, and wished [i]real[/i] hard that he was somewhere else.

Squeeze an octopus, you get ink. squeeze a man you get...

Steven Seagal has apparently joined forces with the Russian special forces. And he's bringing the whop-ass.

Steve was getting too old for this. Micheal's weight wasn't helpful either