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Funny Craptions

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  • 117 Crack Ups
    Avatar Iluvatar

    Steven Seagal, Hitler, and a Genie walk into a bar...

  • 80 Crack Ups
    Avatar joe

    This is what happens when you try to divide by zero.

  • 21 Crack Ups
    Avatar JaredM

    Not knowing that huffing was a gateway drug, Steven Seagal's movie carrier began to go down hill when he found himself moving onto stronger drugs such as mustard-gas-wrestling.

  • 11 Crack Ups
    Avatar Shipp

    When Satan lights a fart, it's less humorous than expected.

  • 10 Crack Ups
    Avatar WingNut

    Ashton finally punk'd the wrong mother fucker!

  • 5 Crack Ups
    Avatar jcdent

    It's a fact that communism was spread by air-born spores.

  • 4 Crack Ups
    Avatar BillyBob

    The atmosphere in the new Club Vesuvius was hazy at best.

  • 4 Crack Ups
    Avatar Nktalloth

    "...and from that day on, I have never ate Mexican food again."

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar huh?

    No amount of tough love was going to bring that stripper back.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar manusmactibilis

    "Does somebody smell McDonalds?"

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar rickecakes84

    "So", the reporter asked, "Has the taxpayers money been spent responsibly in the war on terror? "Ummmmmmmm", replied the president.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar J

    Dude, what did you eat?

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Justin

    As part of their "too much of a good thing" deterrence program, Slovak police officers give the hippies more than they can handle.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar trush07

    Ever wonder what a happy release looks like between man and beast? Here you go.....

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Monsster

    When Amsterdam goes mad

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar LaLaLydia

    "Booty Shake, Booty Shake. Patty Cake. Snap your fingers. Kick with the left. Now with the right. BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!!"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar VeronicaCstone

    Having tried Napalm, Nuclear weapons and a Diamond coated Hacksaw, Seagal realised his only line of defence against Chuck Norris was to spray a load of red shit and run... taking a hostage on the way.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar AlohaJoe

    "I said NO SMOKING!"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar idreamofrobots

    no shit, so this is the place where the cock cocks clan hang out?

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar MrGoodkat

    In an attempt to brighten officer's spirits, Detroit area riot police were given seasonal yuletide tear gas.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Zen

    The Genie soon realized that Steven Seagal was not interested in Ironic Granting of his wishes. "You know damn well Genie I meant JAMAICAN red to smoke"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar mw27

    DAMNIT HITLER, would you please STOP FARTING!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar simplicityiskey

    And in related news, a recent interrogation at Guantanamo Bay went suddenly awry...

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar BritneysWig

    Steven Seagal takes the Fourth of July a little too seriously.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar hiatus

    Steven Seagal rescues boy from fire. Later it is determined that he was actually pushing him in.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar cdkingart

    The new Rennaisance Faire attraction: a mythical half-Rutger Hauer, half-Mariah Carey beast.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar TwistedMonkey

    You know those creepy Beneful commercials with the guy having a creepy relationship with his dog...yeah...this is what they don't show you.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar RNbulletsponge

    It was described as the worlds biggest flop, when the pope let slip the words, "now get naked and bow down!"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar deadpianoplayer

    When Satan asks you to "Come back to his pad to smoke some really good shit!", you might wanna think twice.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar mistaza

    And we thought Tonya Harding was the ballsiest cheater.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar chaoticbrii

    the episode of trading spaces that never quite made the cut

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Ranger

    PSA: Smoking Soylent Red won't get you high. IT'LL GET YOU DEAD! www.NeilsNotes.com

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Ranger

    When Rosie O'Donnell farts after eating at Taco Bell...everybody pays! www.NeilsNotes.com

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar steelers

    This marks Seagal's 1672th victum! also his 1543rd neck break.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar thrasherjay

    This is the greatest pot ever!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar enjoi

    One part performance art, one part solicitation.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar JessieArr

    Dammit, Billy, what have I told you about huffing pixie stix!? Wait until your mother hears of this.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar kathana

    Yeah, but where did the smoke bombs come from?

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Moo of the Secen

    Your right! It does smell like strawberry!

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Fuzzy Yeti

    Dude, I don't care what it smells like, i aint gunna snif it.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Lawnmover Man

    Army officers, janitors, ethereal beings from outer space, everybody wanted to dance with Mike.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar JK-47

    Ghost Busters!

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar anonymous

    Safety...

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar anonymouses

    And then something amazing happend..

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar jizzbotspremuspermu

    Cosplay+smokebombs+BDSM=Fun for everyone.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Syko

    "I haven't made my last wish yet!" John cried as he struggled to keep the genie from escaping to the safety of his lamp.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar bang!

    And then Michael thought so hard Travis exploded.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar USB animl

    "Wow," thought Ivan. "Bloody vomit does look amazing underwater."

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Bang

    Thats the spot. Hows that feel? Good now breath out the bad and breHOLYSHIT.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar asdf

    Presenting Taco Bell's new Five-Alarm Chili! You'll be breathing fire in no time! Try it today!

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar rice

    the 4th anual tabasco sauce drinking championship came to an unfortunate end when one of the contestants stomachs suddenly exploded killing himself and wounding 3 others.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar The Zipper

    Steve closed his yes, and wished [i]real[/i] hard that he was somewhere else.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Kyran

    WHAT PART OF "DON'T TOUCH THE BUTTON" DIDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!?

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Juan Perez

    Ryan makes the mistake of starting a bar fight with an evil wizard.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar bam

    Quickly to the Hellmobile!

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar SmapdiOverdrive

    Bernard delivers the Atomic Stranglehold, obliterating Dan's brains to powder and forcing it out of his nostrils.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Bored

    Here we see the little talked about 10th circle of Hell, where Steven Segal breaks the necks of those who committed the sin of "wearing shitty hats."

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar or

    With only enough room left in hell for Steve's legs, Satan was left with an embarrising predicament.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Liam

    Tired of living in the shadow of Chuck Norris, Steven Segal takes his revenge one stoner at a time.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar JimJam

    It was at this moment Mark realized his mistake was making fun of Adrian Paul at a Highlander convention.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar CraptionCing

    You still wanna make fun of my Pony tail?

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Andrew?

    Cloud 9 was highly over-rated.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Dr.Zoidberg

    Lieutenant Jim beats a hasty retreat when things get ugly at Smokey's Bar and Grill.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar hankypanky

    Things turned ugly when the band made a feeble attempt at "Smoke on the Water".

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar whatthefudge

    Ralph Macchio still has nightmares about Cobra Kai.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar You... In the future!

    This caption is new and exciting, and people are afraid of it!

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Teh B.S.

    It was Dave's first time delivering a baby, and the fact that the mother was a three-foot-tall Indian man spewing red smoke didn't help things either.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar BumpInTheNight

    "I knew that Burrito tasted a little off"

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Choco Taco

    As he wrestled to the ground with the mechanic and the general in the burning coffee shop, Barry realized this may have been the best hallucination ever. If only he survived to remember it...

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar KamTheMan

    The cop looked away in horror after seeing the ugly aftermath after the gas went off. His partner now had a mullet

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Shameless repeat

    Where will you be when Diarrhea strikes?

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar DDDD

    As generation X got older they took up rave square dancing and dohsy doh-ing

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Captain Obvious

    But other then that Taco Bell and regular food are pretty much the same.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar The Dude abides

    This is what fucking happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Anonymouse

    Okay, so an army sergeant, a blue-collar worker, and a hippy walk into a bar, and...
    Then the FBI bomb the building to prevent the meeting on world peace from happening.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar eViLhObO

    Only a giant fan was necessary to catch the Red Ninja before he disappeared into smoke again.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar jakobi711

    Friends don't let friends breath in red smoke.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar syphen

    It was a cold December morning when mall security begin the inquisition at Gloria Jeans.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar 2pacgunit

    da pigs beat another inocent nigga for blazin up. legalize it.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar guyofdeath

    The terrorists plans are foiled when the police deploy Greg, the human tear gas grenade.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Bop

    The new Truth sponsored movie, Blood Smoke.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar CaptionBabe

    Steve gets escorted away from the funeral after screaming, "He's a Zombie"! and throwing a smoke grenade into the casket.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Genie

    Blades of Glory, Tarantino style

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar alun c.

    In this clip from "Cheers Nights", Cliff delivers the mail in an area of Boston where nobody knows your name.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Not Leo

    I'm Steven Seagal, and I"m telling you, SMELL MY FART, DAMNIT.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar 44

    Steve mistakes the armpit for a neck

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar SciWed Is Leo

    Now, was this due to the lack of Pepto Bismol or an overdose of it?

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Lemons

    Squeeze an octopus, you get ink. squeeze a man you get...

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Fish

    Steve was getting too old for this. Micheal's weight wasn't helpful either

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Wraith

    Later Steven Segal movies showcase his OTHER skills as a navy cook.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Crazy J

    In Soviet Russia, farts smell you!

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar mrdrofficer

    The Sistine Chapel according to Maxim.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Chinzon

    The city boy had said something to upset Rick, and suddenly the red mist had come down.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar hafabee

    Damn it, I told you not to feed it the chilli!

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar SuperMute

    Steven Segal runs into Moby at a party... hilarity ensues.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar hepabruthaout

    for some reason Drinking Twister Extreme never caught on.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Hepathos

    The really funny part is, that the other two person in the background is Ghandhi and Stalin.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar DiscoDan

    Burn Baby Burn... Dante's Inferno... Burn Baby Burn.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Lamian Avarice

    It was far too late now, but he finally decided what to wish for.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar ShadowTroll

    Nearly beaten by a crazed Peter Andre, Steven Segal releases an almighty atomic blast from his anus. Thousands died.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Jeffro

    Airman Bill said "Hey Segal, I'm going to try an bang that kid from behind. You try and get some head off him." Steven took things a bit to literal it appeared.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar TKONP

    When cotton candy machines go bad...

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Hobb

    "Hey, these thing's don't leak, do they?"

    "Hell, no! They were made by the U.S. Army Corp. of Engineers."

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Tarquinius

    Russian sailors lose another recruit to toxic "vodka farts"

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Splinky

    Jack's breath was running out, but he would be damned if he would let anybody claim that he had dealt it!

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar penumbrage

    Kharak, although half Klingon and nearly blinded from the first attack, effectively used both his Vulcan nerve pinch and the rare Vulcan armpit lock to prevent the Tellurian terrorist from unleashing his second deadly BO blast.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar tatsritesucka

    yeah boyyy eat my smoke

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar CDReckless

    Dammit!! I told you that I'm not Steven Seagal!!!! I'm Tom Hanks!!! Now die!!!!

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Mooze

    You pulled my finger, now you will smell it! SMELL IT!

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar wolfmanravi

    David Wong forgets that he burns the craption image AFTER he posts it, not before.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Evilman

    The soothsayers were wrong. The destroyer of the world came as a circus sized 4th of July snake...

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar J-bot

    Ah yes, the Army would be pleased with the results of their Seagal gas chamber.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Thradok

    It is a little known fact that Steven Seagal was an Olympic gold medalist in flatuation.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar rikitybridge

    Smoke had always been pissed since Sub-Zero and Scorpion fed him red dye.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar We now know

    The PWOT Insiders show their displeasure at being outed.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar the wankor

    "I'm Steven Seagal, and I'm going to kill you... but only because it's self defense. I hate killing really. And knives and guns too... killing is wrong."

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar UpsilonMerc

    Those bastards! They put a bomb in the world's largest pixie stick!

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar unknown

    i'm the guy in the back

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar pwned88

    Even when blinded by smoke, Steven Segall manages to subdue two men at once.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar 7THSON

    "Damn its hard to start a fire with these teenagers!'

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Ayers

    Tron Guy's son was arrested today, protesting changes to W.O.W.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Komrade

    Steven Seagal has apparently joined forces with the Russian special forces. And he's bringing the whop-ass.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar CrenTIScO

    No longer would the all-too-common question "What does a phoenix's period look like?" need to go unanswered.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar Zap Rowsdower

    Tommy Chong, Chiropractor.

  • 0 Crack Ups
    Avatar lol

    all that was left from the magician was the magical disapearing act.. but pete knew a fake when he sees one