Not knowing that huffing was a gateway drug, Steven Seagal's movie carrier began to go down hill when he found himself moving onto stronger drugs such as mustard-gas-wrestling.
"So", the reporter asked, "Has the taxpayers money been spent responsibly in the war on terror? "Ummmmmmmm", replied the president.
As part of their "too much of a good thing" deterrence program, Slovak police officers give the hippies more than they can handle.
Ever wonder what a happy release looks like between man and beast? Here you go.....
"Booty Shake, Booty Shake. Patty Cake. Snap your fingers. Kick with the left. Now with the right. BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!!"
Having tried Napalm, Nuclear weapons and a Diamond coated Hacksaw, Seagal realised his only line of defence against Chuck Norris was to spray a load of red shit and run... taking a hostage on the way.
In an attempt to brighten officer's spirits, Detroit area riot police were given seasonal yuletide tear gas.
The Genie soon realized that Steven Seagal was not interested in Ironic Granting of his wishes. "You know damn well Genie I meant JAMAICAN red to smoke"
And in related news, a recent interrogation at Guantanamo Bay went suddenly awry...
Steven Seagal rescues boy from fire. Later it is determined that he was actually pushing him in.
The new Rennaisance Faire attraction: a mythical half-Rutger Hauer, half-Mariah Carey beast.
You know those creepy Beneful commercials with the guy having a creepy relationship with his dog...yeah...this is what they don't show you.
It was described as the worlds biggest flop, when the pope let slip the words, "now get naked and bow down!"
When Satan asks you to "Come back to his pad to smoke some really good shit!", you might wanna think twice.
PSA: Smoking Soylent Red won't get you high. IT'LL GET YOU DEAD! www.NeilsNotes.com
When Rosie O'Donnell farts after eating at Taco Bell...everybody pays! www.NeilsNotes.com
Dammit, Billy, what have I told you about huffing pixie stix!? Wait until your mother hears of this.
Army officers, janitors, ethereal beings from outer space, everybody wanted to dance with Mike.
"I haven't made my last wish yet!" John cried as he struggled to keep the genie from escaping to the safety of his lamp.
Presenting Taco Bell's new Five-Alarm Chili! You'll be breathing fire in no time! Try it today!
the 4th anual tabasco sauce drinking championship came to an unfortunate end when one of the contestants stomachs suddenly exploded killing himself and wounding 3 others.
Steve closed his yes, and wished [i]real[/i] hard that he was somewhere else.
Bernard delivers the Atomic Stranglehold, obliterating Dan's brains to powder and forcing it out of his nostrils.
Here we see the little talked about 10th circle of Hell, where Steven Segal breaks the necks of those who committed the sin of "wearing shitty hats."
With only enough room left in hell for Steve's legs, Satan was left with an embarrising predicament.
Tired of living in the shadow of Chuck Norris, Steven Segal takes his revenge one stoner at a time.
It was at this moment Mark realized his mistake was making fun of Adrian Paul at a Highlander convention.
Lieutenant Jim beats a hasty retreat when things get ugly at Smokey's Bar and Grill.
Things turned ugly when the band made a feeble attempt at "Smoke on the Water".
It was Dave's first time delivering a baby, and the fact that the mother was a three-foot-tall Indian man spewing red smoke didn't help things either.
As he wrestled to the ground with the mechanic and the general in the burning coffee shop, Barry realized this may have been the best hallucination ever. If only he survived to remember it...
The cop looked away in horror after seeing the ugly aftermath after the gas went off. His partner now had a mullet
But other then that Taco Bell and regular food are pretty much the same.
Okay, so an army sergeant, a blue-collar worker, and a hippy walk into a bar, and...
Then the FBI bomb the building to prevent the meeting on world peace from happening.
Only a giant fan was necessary to catch the Red Ninja before he disappeared into smoke again.
It was a cold December morning when mall security begin the inquisition at Gloria Jeans.
The terrorists plans are foiled when the police deploy Greg, the human tear gas grenade.
Steve gets escorted away from the funeral after screaming, "He's a Zombie"! and throwing a smoke grenade into the casket.
In this clip from "Cheers Nights", Cliff delivers the mail in an area of Boston where nobody knows your name.
The city boy had said something to upset Rick, and suddenly the red mist had come down.
The really funny part is, that the other two person in the background is Ghandhi and Stalin.
Nearly beaten by a crazed Peter Andre, Steven Segal releases an almighty atomic blast from his anus. Thousands died.
Airman Bill said "Hey Segal, I'm going to try an bang that kid from behind. You try and get some head off him." Steven took things a bit to literal it appeared.
"Hey, these thing's don't leak, do they?"
"Hell, no! They were made by the U.S. Army Corp. of Engineers."
Jack's breath was running out, but he would be damned if he would let anybody claim that he had dealt it!
Kharak, although half Klingon and nearly blinded from the first attack, effectively used both his Vulcan nerve pinch and the rare Vulcan armpit lock to prevent the Tellurian terrorist from unleashing his second deadly BO blast.
Dammit!! I told you that I'm not Steven Seagal!!!! I'm Tom Hanks!!! Now die!!!!
David Wong forgets that he burns the craption image AFTER he posts it, not before.
The soothsayers were wrong. The destroyer of the world came as a circus sized 4th of July snake...
It is a little known fact that Steven Seagal was an Olympic gold medalist in flatuation.
"I'm Steven Seagal, and I'm going to kill you... but only because it's self defense. I hate killing really. And knives and guns too... killing is wrong."
Steven Seagal has apparently joined forces with the Russian special forces. And he's bringing the whop-ass.
No longer would the all-too-common question "What does a phoenix's period look like?" need to go unanswered.
all that was left from the magician was the magical disapearing act.. but pete knew a fake when he sees one
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009