Craptions Classics December 20, 2006

...and i want a pony, and barbie's doll house, and some god damn fucking body armor...


Other Craptions

"Are you really Santa?"
"Well, who's that?"
"Mrs. Clause."
And who's that?"
"Mrs. Clause."
"How can they all be-"
"Christmas magic."


It was about time Santa got what he wanted.


The mall had been closed and converted into a warehouse years ago, but Timmy still sat blissfully in the lap of Santa's decaying corpse.

Lawnmover Man

Full Metal Jacket: Directors Cut had a much happier ending to the first segment.

Celestial Gold

This year it was time to tell Davey the truth about Santa Claus.


So far, everything had gone according to plan. Corporal Stevenson was high as a kite; all Santa had to do was trade clothes with him, and he would be home free.

The Zipper

While relaxing in his porn den after a hard Xmas, Santa unwraps his own present, and realises the Elves got the gender of his blow up doll wrong again. Those little shits must be doing this on purpose.


"...Well, as you asked, I'd like a new fridge. My room mate scudd has put his family photo's all over this one."


In winter terrorists are forced to dress up as Santa and listen to the wishes of their captors while barely dressed western whores adorn their fridge eliminating the desire to open it and get food

Abu Ghraib

for sale:
large ventriloquists dummy, good condition but prone to flashbacks. $70 or best offer.


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