Other Craptions

By the time you hear the *BRING BRING*, it's already too late.

Homeless Hunting Season has finally arrived

Man, the Tour de France has gotten really competitive.

"Don't worry my good Craptioneers. I will search out the wretched cheating bastards with multiple accounts and wipe them from the face of the Earth. Can someone give me a push to get me started?"

He delivers more newspapers before 7:00 AM than most paperboys do all day.

Lance Corporal Armstrong

This is the last known picture we have of Ali G.

Dad had a way of explaining why I should wear a helmet when riding a bike.

Freddy Mercury REALLY, REALLY wanted to ride his bicycle.

In war there are Schwinners and there are losers.

Proof that not all G.I.s named Joe are American heroes.

Jersey Shore: Band of Bros

Before you blow the entire $5000 you got from the CIA to execute the mission, you must remember to save enough to cover transportation costs at the target location.

"The first rule of Bike Club, is you do not talk about Bike Club."

Apocalypse NO.

In all seriousness...Detroit, ya gotta fix the crime problem.

I love it when Toys R Us has an infantry sale!

"I've come from the future to kill Lance Armstrong. Tell me where he is. Now."

Shit, when they said that the Libyan rebels were poorly supplied, they weren't kidding."

Sacha Baron Cohen isn't funny anymore, and must be stopped.

Famous Last Words: "They see me rolling, they hating. They hoping that they gonna catch me riding dirty."

Nicolas Cage really will do anything for film roles.

First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women...

In his mind, he is WINNING.

His backpack says "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle"...his camo and gun say "GI Joe"....but his eyes say "Never Known the Touch of a Woman".

OK, seriously, where is our defense budget being spent?

"Gentlemen, we have created a super soldier. Just disregard the bike. The bike wasn't part of our experiment."

Bike racing in Afghanistan is not for the timid.

"It doesn't HAVE a seat!" said Joe, immediately making everyone in the room uncomfortable

Hey Klinger, are you still trying to get a Section 8?

When the baby sitter fails, it's time to call in the baby hunter.

Pedal of Honor? No, more like Schmedal of Honor!

The bike rusted to a halt precisely at the moment Marcel looked most ridiculous: wearing sunglasses indoors.

"This is how I deal with my anger management. By exercising. You got a problem with that?"

He might not know much, but he does know how to keep those tires white!

"When my mom gets here with my Lunchable, I will strike...and then...I will BE FREEEEE!"

Girl's bike? Good choice..... don't want to injure your gina.

Delivering newspapers is a tough gig in the middle east

Lance Armstrong is going to find everybody who accused him of doping.

The key to being a good realtor is knowing how to distract customers from the bad things, by force if you have to.

Biiiiiiiiiicycle, biiiiiiiiiiiicycle!

The Tour De France surrendered after 5 seconds.

Dude...don't wear sunglasses at night! You look ridiculous!

The Tour de France referees do not fuck around

Paperboy: Modern Warfare

On second thought, let's NOT go to Chicago... it is a silly place... a silly place full of cheaters that is...

Dave activated the stabilisers on his Stealth-Heavy Inertial Terrain vehicle.

"Come on. We have to round you up in these nets, so we can hang em off the side of a wall somewhere. Don't ask any questions & please cooperate."

"Everybody drop- I have a puncture repair kit and I'm not afraid to use it."