Other Craptions

Apparently, science has decided that all the important stuff it had to do is finished.

Every straight male's fantasy: a dumb, plastic blonde who lights up at the thought of playing with balls.

Not many people knew that Nikola Tesla was a pedophile.

Barbie-Q would prove to be Batman's deadliest foe yet.

Despite her best efforts, nothing could electrify Christina Aguilera's dead career.

"Up for auction next is a vintage doll who needs a home. She has only killed 10 people since 1893. Starting bid is $500.00"

Remember girls, with Baby Bipolar, if you don't keep up with her electroshock therapy, she will start to cut herself.

This doll goes to 11.

Aw. How electro-cute.

THE SOULS OF YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE....mama mama....CURSE YOU PULL STRING!

"Third strike Pete, put the doll's pants back on and give me the camera"

"Well, that proves it- she's a witch."

Borders’ “Buy a Book or the Baby Gets Electrocuted” sales campaign was an ill-conceived desperation move to stay in business against Amazon and e-books.

Never, EVER give a doll the shocker....in public...

When you pat her on the back, she spits up battery acid.

With this, I lost my job as a substitute art teacher but got a grant from the NEA.

"Kind of a weird place for a first date, Dave."

Do whatever you want with my body, but donate my dolly to SCIENCE.

"I'm Science Barbie! Gravity pulls me down, but Electricity lights me up! Math is hard. Darwin was a heretic!"

You don't want to see what she saw...

"Actually, the first shock was when she called me a pedophile. That's some mature vocabulary right there!"

Ann Coulter was shocked to find herself in the New Age section of the bookstore.

And that's how static electricity works kids. Any erections? I mean...questions?

We all react differently to buying textbooks

This has been scientifically proven to dissuade doll fetishism prior to burn injuries.

Can you believe this little girl, left alone in the Library, brewed up such a storm of controversy?!

Needless to say, Pete was banned from the camera

I remember my first possessed doll.

Let she who has never woken up in the University bookstore sans pants throw the first stone.

Your move, Ken.

On second thought, let's NOT go to Toys 'r' Us... it is a silly place...

Talk? Why no, Ms. Hilton, I expect you to die!

She's CANtankerous! Oh, wait, that was yesterday's picture, right? Sorry.

After 15 years, police uncover a shocking development in the Jonbenet Ramsey case.

"I am the Dread Pirate Roberta and I am HERE FOR YOUR SOUL!!!!"

This is EXACTLY why I now use a Kindle.

And when you pull on it's string it says: "Bring me the heads of Chucky & Tiffany! I shall feast on their souls!"

And the man in the back said everyone attack and it turned into a bookstore blitz.

IT'S A TRAP!!

You can't sue because this doll killed your loved ones. We place a Surgeon General warning on every package."

Just then, Francine's hair surrendered.

Spoiler Alert- she turns out to be evil.

This is what 4Chan members call 'Pervana'.

"I'll get you, my pretty & your little pony too!"

"…and that's why you shouldn't drop acid when working in a book store."

The #2 method for giving JTKLove a lifetime of screaming, pants-soiling nightmares (Method #1: Clowns with erections).

Sally, were you playing with the pots yesterday?

Oh man, I just noticed something! We're in the year 2007! Everybody, get your totems! We have to get the hell out of here, now!

She fought the and the law won.