Other Craptions

Somewhere, a genie is growing very impatient with baggage claim.

"Sure, you drank it all, but to be a real man, you have to eat the suitcase."

We were only going to send a message, but of course the wife had to pack her make-up, a hair-dryer, shampoo, her nice shoes, 3 pairs of sunglasses, a back-up purse, perfume...

The new TSA packing guidelines are ridiculous...!

With a sinking sensation, John realized where he'd left his keys.

Coincidentally, the chest inside is where he keeps all of his bottles.

The crowd roared at David Blaine’s latest feat, where he locked up Carrot Top in the comic's own prop trunk and then magically sealed it in a glass bottle.

Bottle of red, bottle of white...it all depends upon your Samsonite.

They are making it harder and harder to get into Narnia.

“Fuck, you leave your bag unattended for 1 minute these days and they quarantine it.”

Because a fanny pack in a bottle just makes you look like another tourist.

“It’s just my wife’s creative way of sending me the message that she knows about my mistress and that she’s kicking me out of the house.”

Amy's Winehouse.

Yes, I know you said you had a lot of weird baggage, but I thought you were referring to childhood memories. So no, I don't have a handcart.

The formula for Coke is very well protected, just not in the way you'd think.

This reminds me of an old joke... "Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?" "Because his wife died." Ok, I'll leave quietly.

I'd still rather drink this than Arbor Mist.

Remember to let it breath for a while.

It might not be alcohol, but it will get you trunk.

...and once Charlie Sheen goes into his new dressing room we put the cork back in and our troubles are over!

The bum's eyes grew wide. After a full day searching, he cashed in $1.50 worth of empties, but now he was staring right at the motherlode!

“He may have passed his latest piss tests, but there is just no way Charlie was sober when he made this.”

After not hearing a word from their Father who was lost at sea 3 months ago, the Anderson family decides to try and send him a typewriter.

"It's a trap!"

I see Salvadore Dali finally gave up his street cred and got a minivan.

Your move, TFA

The suitcase fit 2 1/2 men perfectly.

"Awesome! My iPad 2 finally arrived!"

Finally, Jimmy Hoffa has been found.

Inspiration for the Police song: Dresser in a Bottle.

"Now how are we going to throw it into the ocean? We're in Nebraska."

Please deliver this to the cruse ship in a bottle.

Who are you calling a cork sucker, you old bag?!

"That suitcase holds all of my bottled up emotions. If I cast it out to sea I won't explode emotionally."

I bet this is some tragedy and Sting writes another song about it, oh wait...

"Mama always said that life was like a box in a bottle on a pedestal along a shady city boulevard. She was senile, though."

"Awesome! The airline finally found my luggage. Though I don't like the shipping method they used."

New! From Charlie Sheen, Inc! Goddess in a Bottle! Order today and get two free free FREE vials of Tiger Blood!

It washed up on the shore, I opened it and a stripper popped out of the trunk and sang Happy birthday.

Kind of an elaborate dog house Dave.

The Margaritaville sticker is a nice touch.

Not a good way to get rid of your wife's body.

You've got a lot of trunk in the junk

Looks like the Genie is ready to move out...

Massage in a Bottle

Gilligan and a very satisfied looking Ginger stepped out of this.

"This isn't what I meant when I said I wanted free shipping and handling."

There's nothing like a good Cabinet Sauvignon.

"And, we'd like to thank the Mothers Against Drunk Driving, for this donation to our city park."