Before we do this, I feel obligated to tell you, I have termites.
"I'm going to get into her pants. I know exactly which strings to pull to make it happen."
Pinocchio always wanted to be a real boy...But he couldn't pass up a fine piece of Oak like that!
There's Something About Marionette.
“Stop freaking out Lucy. I told you it’s just morning wood.”
Later that day, they formed a splinter cell.
"You ever feel like we're just being hopelessly strung along? That we're not really in control of our own destinies? I think about stuff like that ALL the time."
"Splinter? I hardly knew her!"
Sonny and Cher are another act that suffered from the invention of Hi-def TV.
The date was going well, until they crossed paths with a ceiling fan.
Pull the string that pulls my finger.
“Maybe I have pencil dick NOW. But, before I started humping your dry-as-sandpaper cooch, I was packing a Redwood down there.”
"Did you know that I was the body double in Team America?"
“One of these days, we will escape and run away from all of this to Hollywood and become Muppets.”
The puppet master place his puppets down on the ground, undid his pants, and let the real puppet show begin.