Other Craptions

Are you Sarah Connor?

Someone is about to fail their random drug test.

The hotel got the balloon artist. The kids party got the hooker.

I'm you. From the future.

It was a horrible thought, but Annie knew that she could be the top valet again with just a little help from a safety pin.

Being new to the world of serial raping, Bob had a lot to learn about camouflage.

"I'm Irish on my mothers side, my father was a condom."

"And when I get that feeling, I want sexual helium. Sexual helium, oh baby. Makes me feel so fine."

"oh great... these guys never tip"

"Give me a blow job, and you'll talk hilariously squeaky for days..."

Thinking quickly, Tammy the security guard, grabbed it, rubbed it against her shirt, and stuck it to the wall.

Mighty Morphin Flower Power Ranger.

Dude, you should really stay out of the sun.

Your move LSD.

Scientologists worldwide solemnly observe St. What the Fuck Day.

The Body Snatchers are more crafty than you'd think.

Even more disturbing was the giant bee coming to pollinate it.

I honestly don't know... Either one could be Lady Gaga

When Ann saw the ad, "wanted self-motivated person who likes to blow things up," she thought it was her dream job. It wasn't, but it sure did blow.

I don't know what it is but Angelina Jolie tried to adopt it.

Day 74: Still tripping.

In Japan, this is just a code 14

"Oh, great, another Prius driver. They tip like shit!"

The Japanese remake of Blossom was a little bit too literal.

As he stood there and watched her, one of his balloons slowly inflated.

After she turned back around it did in fact steal the car.

Hello, Officer, I'd like to file a complaint. There are a couple of small children that have been stalking me nonstop all afternoon.

The best nitrous balloon dealers hide in right plain sight.

Moments later he was arrested for exposing his stamen.

Something Barnum & Bailey This Way Comes.

Her last boyfriend was a prick. It didn't work out.

In Okinawa, Pokemon catches you!

While the balloon creature tries to make a new friend, the woman frantically searches her pockets for a pin.

The Balloonatics began their inexplicable assault on humanity one fateful morning. Then, salvation came in the form of an overturned semi-truck full of tacks, nails & other random sharp objects.

"You had me at 'yellow'."

Hello, have you heard the good news?

"Hi there! Peek-a-boo! I see you! And I am no longer a voice in your head, Princess Toadstool!"

When you pop one, two more grow back in its place.

"Now you blow. And blowing is half the battle."

Where is Mario when you need him.

Decades later, Hiroshima still bears its scars...

Day of The Triffids, as presented by Mrs. Riordan's 2nd grade class.

Yeah, my job blows too.

She thought it was funny until a patron with a severe latex allergy drove up, exited his car, screamed and finally dropped dead right next to it. Then it was totally hilarious.

"How many times do I have to tell you? It's photosynthesis, my dear Watson."

"I know, it's up for me. If you steal my sunshine. Making sure I'm not in too deep. If you steal my sunshine."

Anthoglobophobia: fear of balloon flowers.

Aim for its vulnerable spots!

Every time she looked away, it got a little closer...