Other Craptions

Bill didn't give a donation when the show was done. When we looked again, Bill was gone, and the box held THREE puppets.

Sorry Cathleen, you should have stuck with prostitution. It's the more respectable of the two professions.

The mime on the next corner can't figure out why the people seem happy to see him today.

Alanis thought it was quite ironic that she'd been reduced to this. Of course, she still didn't know what the word meant, so she was still wrong.

You poke fun, but how else is she going to earn the money to feed her 200 cats back home?

All the kids used to laugh and make fun of Anna. But after years of hard work and practice, their kids laugh and make fun of Anna.

See? Sometimes crushing a childhood dream IS the right thing to do.

As is common with some women, she claims there's no strings attached.

There are times where you are forced to ask yourself where you went wrong in life. They usually happen long, long before this.

I call this next song "Left at the Altar"

Do you ever wonder if we're just puppets, and some hippy with an accordion is controlling us? Man. I'm baked.

Actually, she works crowd control for the city. When they need to clear people out of an area, they bring her in to perform.

Mama's got a squeeze box, Daddy always weeps at night.

Later that day the puppets threw themselves in to a wood chipper.

It's actually worse than you think. She's playing Mama Mia.

JTKLove goes a-courtin'

Good puppet porn was hard to find before the internet.

Don't use the phrase organ grinder around her. She might get ideas.

A note to job-seekers of the future: Just because you can do something that nobody else in the world can do is not a guarantee of a high-paying job.

5 minutes later, Spinal Tap performed...

Your move, Mr. Rogers.

"You see Pinocchio, your life with Geppetto isn't so bad. It could be much worse."

"I must have died and gone to Hell. No matter how loud I turn up my IPod, I can still hear her."

At least she doesn't play the bagpipes anymore.

"I know I know, we shouldn't have fired John Williams...but don't worry, your sci-fi epic will have a soundtrack!"

Poland's version of Guitar Hero.

Pictured: Puppet hell

At least European hobos know how to beg.

She goes home alone every night to a house FULL of cats.

“Romania’s Got Talent” never really took off anywhere other than Eastern Europe.

And...another communications major enters the work force.

"Uuuuum...your fiance's a real looker, Dave."

Thank God she took off that yellow shirt! If not, that show would have been ridiculous.

I had a dream like this once.It didn't end well.

After 10 minutes of this torture, I just had to flag her for unsportsmanlike conduct.

No wedding band. Shocker.

I didn't credit the governor of Wisconsin with this much subtlety, but the union-backed protesters have certainly cleared out.

Be honest, if that chick was a man, all of you perverted Craptionheads would have made lewd comments about him handling his instrument. But I'm still going there: I love a lady who fingers her squeeze box with both hands.

Puppets AND an accordion! Wow, she must have been popular in high school.

As it turned out, college was the best 22 years of her life.

"They're all gonna laugh at you!"

"Somebody, anybody, please throw her some finger puppets. Maybe that will at least get her to stop playing that damned accordion."

Hurdy-Gurdy Shady-Lady

"You stop playing when we stop dancing, accordian-girl."

FREE BIRD!

Morbidoni - Italian for "annoying sound".

"My soul?" "No strings attached, I promise."

"If you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they’re about to announce the lottery numbers."

Appropriately, she's playing Elton John's "Tiny Dancer."