Other Craptions

The Pigeon Mafia makes it's point clear

Putting superglue on statues in the park was the best idea I've ever had.

Apparently, the fourth pigeon fancied himself a horse proctologist.

... and yet when I perch atop a statue and drop a deuce, it's all screams and police beatings.

Alfred Hitchcock originally filmed “The Birds” with Mr. Ed as the male lead. But poor screening reviews convinced him to recast the role.

This use to be a statue of Black Beauty.

That horse's name is Ho Ming, making the birds Ho Ming's Pigeons. (Please don't hurt me. I was dropped on my head a lot as a kid.)

"Ok, after three- lift!"

"Kind of an elaborate bird bath, Dave."

Nelly was really struggling with her recent move to the city. She could deal with horse flies out in the country, but these urban horse pigeons were driving her insane.

And somehow, 3 hours later -- Pegasus was born!

The new Animal Farm movie took quite some liberties with the plot.

"Son it's time you heard about the birds and the bees... and the horses... and coprophilia... it's gonna be a long conversation son. Take a seat."

Flicka had the same look on her face when the birds told her how glue was made as I did when my parents told me where babies really come from.

Eeyore searched through his dreambook, but could find no answer to his recurring nightmare.

It's hard on a horse whisperer when the horse won't stop screaming.

This is the second time we've stopped at this statue. Admit it, Fred, you're lost! "Unerring knowledge of their way home" my ass, you haven't got a clue!

So is this why Death's horse was pale?

He's a Chinese horse. That makes those... Ho Ming Pigeons!

Yeah, I feel ya. I also hate it when you're about to sneeze but nothing happens

Poor guy must have seen Snooki naked.

I have equestrian.

The city's plan is to make PETA so angry they send supermodels over to protest in the nude.

'You see Dave, riding a horse is much like making love to a beautiful woman…"

Frau Brucher!!!

A flea circus is fine, but I’ll take a pigeon rodeo over one any day.

This actually started out as Horatio Nelson- using only their septic feet and their own poop, it took years for these pigeons to sculpt this.

In the animal kingdom, collateral damage can take surprising forms.

I told you to do your business at home! Christ, if we have to stop for a bathroom break at every statue on our way, we'll be flying all bloody day.

New York's pigeons suddenly demand payment for photo ops. Turn their back on Japanese tourists. One spokespigeon comments: We don't work for peanuts - breadcrumbs maybe....

Why did three pigeons gather on a statue? They were staging a coo.

"Ok guys, first one to reach the Secretariat statue over in Griffith Park wins." "Harry, you just don't get horse racing, do you?"

"He said WHAT??? Oh no he DINIT!"

Sarah Jessica Parker jokes... proof positive that you absolutely, positively have given up being creative. And the winner of the Hypocrite of the Year award goes to.... envelope, please... MOTHRA24!!!

Keep 'em coming, bartender. I want to be completely shitfaced.

"I'll be riding YOU later....IN HELL!"

Two birds with one stone? Ha! I can do three birds with one statue.

Not even her Big O Face could keep the pigeons off the Sarah Jessica Parker Memorial Statue.

"Neigh, neigh, and thrice neigh!"

I might be seeing things, but is that a combover on the horse?

Not every young wizardry student can have a cool Patronus like a phoenix or a stag.

“You know what? I’d shit on it, but that would only make it look better. So what’s the point?”

Guanoernica... The great anti-war piece sculpted by Pigecasso.

“Hey, were going to need a hell of a lot more carrier pigeons to transport this thing.”

As the three birds carried it to the nest, Bob turned and said, "Joe, this is absolutely the last time I help you move."

"The thing I love about Rome is the classy public toilets."

Shadowfax hated it whenever Gandalf wanted to go shopping downtown.

Looks like the Goodfeathers are about to go to the mattresses.

Peckasus