Other Craptions

I was best man at this guys welding.

Strangely, in Braille this says 'Dry clean only'.

Skynet unveils its newest model-the T1000-GAGA

Tim Burton's doing a remake of Wizard of Oz? Awesome! Johnny Depp is the Tin Man? Cool! I wonder what he's gonna look like? Oh....I see.

Add one good sized bolt and a couple of nuts, and the thing could be anatomically correct.

Although many suspected his WD40 addiction was to blame, the Tin Man’s autopsy showed that he actually died from an advanced case of washer cancer.

Riveting.

Sir Ian McKellen’s original Magneto costume.

We call the disease Spaghettiosis. It first attacks the limbs, head, and crotch, and then moves to the torso.

he's got washer-board abs.

Washer? I don't even know her.

Kirk totally hit that

Tim the Tool Man Taylor died from a horrible hardware accident when he converted a high powered nail gun into a super powered washer gun. His long time assistant, Al Borland, was inconsolable due to hysterical laughter.

The mannequin small pox epidemic of 1998 crippled the retail fashion industry and nearly put Bloomingdales out of business.

The Borg’s attempted assimilation of 10 million mannequins was a huge embarrassment to them that haunts them to this day.

“No matter how many layers of clothes I put on this thing, it still scares the shit out of me.”

Playschool’s “Little Tommy’s Torture Torso” bombed with kids. But it’s sales in adult entertainment shops are enormous.

"...and I call THIS piece 'Pretentious Bullshit'".

The Good News: It's bulletproof. The Bad News: You'll wish it wasn't.

The first "Fuck the TSA" convention was off to a disturbing start.

In his youth, Magneto had to do some things he "was not proud of" to save up for his cape and helmet.

Carbonation Man... His super power? A Sparkling Personality!

Well yeah, it always looks good on the mannequin. But soon as you try it on...

WasherPox- know the signs.

... and that's how the magnetic field generated protects the wearer from neutrino bursts. Pardon? Rain? Umm, no, I guess it won't do much for rain.

When Ringo dies, this is how he wants his body preserved...

I also have a William Shatner model. I made it out of one giant STUD. Shatner is GOD!

I'm sorry, but it looks like you have contracted acute magnetism. The really bad news is that not only don't we know how to cure it...we don't even know how it works.

It’s not that I don’t like. I’m just wondering how bathroom visits are going to work.

"Oh good, I see Prince's new outfit has finally arrived."

They also have an ironman competition at the Paralympics.

On the fifth day of Festivus, my significant other gave to me, five-hundred shiny washers, four missing limbs, three French curves, two torso vents and a lock nut in a jock strap.

General Mills attempted to boost its Cheerios sales with a marketing campaign geared towards the flagging pretentious douchebag market.

Hot glue gun + crap found in the bottom of a toolbox = NEA Grant

"Does this look infected?"

Early models for the Washerton Monument.

Lord of the rings.

We can re-build him. But... why?

Meet Art, banned from having nuts, he overcompensates with washers.

"Why did you bedazzle the mannequin, Dave?"

“Hey, you put his nuts in the wrong place.”

In Soviet Russia, hardware screws you! (Ok, I'll leave quietly)

The name's Al... Al Uminum... i'll give you a ring some time.

The museum had to remove the head from the exhibit because it was scaring visitors so bad that they shit themselves.

"I think my new cat has ringworm. I can't tell because I seem to have lost my head too. Can you help me out with that?"

Axe Body Spray... because fuck you, that's why!!!

The Clearasil isn't working. It's time to get Proactiv.

Some people are made of money, while others have to swallow their pride to make a living

He's got no nuts, I gotta bolt.