Other Craptions

I don't know what's more awesome: The explosion, or the security guard who acts like this is a daily occurence.

"YOU... SHALL NOT... PASS... THIS DRIVING EXAM!!"

Not surprisingly, cars powered by an external combustion engine never caught on with the public.

It was official. Steve did not know how to change a tire.

"At Pizza Hut we cook your pizza while delivering it. For that fresh out of the oven experience."

BMW's Hindenwagen wasn't a big seller.

The A/C doesn't work too well, but the heater is fucking amazing!

"And yet the cup holder somehow keeps my beverages ice cold!!"

Only YOU can prevent Subaru Forester Fires.

Toyota is beginning to think that the recent government investigations into their safety issues may be rigged.

And the insurance got out of paying because they called it an Act of God. Hephaestus to be exact.

I think it's finally time to take away Grandma's driver's license.

*sigh* Why did we hire Michael Bay to run our valet service?

"Infinite Improbability Drive? I wonder what this d..."

Drunk driving just got cool again!

"Herbie Goes To Hell"

I don't care what the hell you went through, your ad says you deliver the pizza in less than twenty minutes or it's free!

What it's like to chew 5 gum.

This is how Jason Stathom masturbates.

I remember those halcyon days of carpooling with Professor Tolkien.

"Hey, you there, under the green awning, can you tell me the way to the stunt driver convention?" "Sure, just follow that guy."

And that's how cars are born.

That always happens there. I can't believe the city hasn't fixed this intersection yet.

Jeff never even saw the "Dragon Crossing" sign...

Neither rain, nor sleet, nor gloom of night, nor sectarian violence stays these couriers...

And that was the last time Evel Knivel drove the school carpool.

The spontaneous combustion engine

"It gets 66.6 miles per soul!"

"It's ok, I got insurance with the rental car. We're totally covered. Now let's find a draw bridge."

Professional driver on a closed course. Do not attempt . . . until you've done at least 3 grams of coke and a bottle of Jack.

Behind the scene of the accident, Hank stared. "I told him not to do it," he said, "I told him not to direct Pearl Harbor."

You know, there's a better than average chance you just lost your security deposit.

You can always tell when Johnny Storm is driving drunk.

You know, you could have just painted flames on the side like everyone else. Show-off.

They should fix that pothole, because it's really getting out of control

This week, on 'Parking with Paris Hilton'...

shit... I thought you said EXTERNAL combustion engine

The midlife crisis had hit its ridiculous peak.

I'll just stand over here while you start it. Happy Valentine's Day ................bitch!

Ferris Bueller's Last Day Off

"Well, scratch off 'Baking Soda and Vinegar" as an alternative fuel possibility."

When Lucifer returned to the Earth's surface, he was literally "Hell on Wheels."

The Toyota Pheonix really lived up to its name.

Other kids got embarrassed to be seen getting a ride to school from their moms. Billy never had that problem.

"Wow, you weren't kidding about your car's really bad backfiring problem."

I also failed my first Driver's Test...

Kick the fires and light the tires...wait...

"Damn, took a wrong turn. I was supposed to make a right at the plague of locusts."

"You know, usually I don't pick up hitchhikers, because they might be wackos. But right off the bat I could tell you weren't that sort. I can just kinda tell about people like that."