Other Craptions

It was so powerful, he could hear the Black Eyed Peas halftime show decades into the future. He destroyed it immediately.

"I can positively affirm that when a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, it does make a sound. Tax money well spent."

Though innovative, binoculars for the blind never caught on.

You kids and your ipods, back in my day...

Hans learned 2 things today: 1, his wife is a screamer. 2, the mailman must die.

“I can hear the enemy approaching 5 miles out from the west, our ambush party setting up to attack them 3 miles out, and my whore of a wife fucking our asshole Captain again in the barn down the road.”

Fred finally heard what God was trying to tell him - "You're wasting your life!"

Back in the day, pirating music concerts required special equipment.

At ease Canada. No one's going to attack you.

“We only meant it as a harmless joke. I mean, who knew his head would explode when we lit the firecrackers. We still would have done it, but we would have at least put down newspaper first.”

Yep, I can still hear your wife bitching

"Admiral Splorg, we are ready for the Invasion of Earth. Shall I prep the fleet?" "Hold on captain, something isn't right here. It's the strangest feeling. I-I think someone can hear us."

Closed Craptioning for the hearing impaired.

Fortunately for the world, Swiss neutrality meant that the 'Yodelmatic' was never used in anger.

In war time, the army had to replace their listening post officers quite frequently, as they would become permanently deaf every time an air raid siren went off.

Now THAT'S a piercing.

When he hears something that might be important, he picks up a tin can connected to a string to inform his superiors.

Just because Jim couldn’t get off work that day didn’t mean he had to miss the Rolling Stones concert.

I can hear Russia from my house.

There it is again! The softest whisper of a deep voice. "Yoooouuuu sssuuuuuckkkkk. Yoooouuuu sssuuuuucccckkkkk Sstaaaannlleeeey..."

The world may still be in black and white, but now it's in stereo.

After years of extensive research, it was finally proven that the hills ARE alive with the sound of music.

It's super fun to sneak up on this guy with an air horn.

Dr.Suess' fact-checker for 'horton hears a who' took his job very seriously

Tragically, when a rain storm suddenly hit the area, Robert was unable to free himself from the listening device before he drowned.

Even with the industrial sized hearing aids, he still doesn't hear what we say... am I right, ladies?

Canadian spy satellite

"It doesn't matter where I point it. It's always children laughing."

Doctor Zarkov wanted to find intelligent life in the universe, but he failed, because the devices he designed for his search were very stupid.

After 25 years of a life of silence, Roger had finally designed a device that allowed him to actually hear sounds. But after hearing a car drive by blasting the Black Eyed Peas, he never wanted to hear anything ever again.

"What IS that buzzing? Are the Germans attacking? Is it a missle!?! OH DEAR GOD!...wait... another bumble bee flew into the tube. Goddammit."

The inventor of the first Beer Bong didn't believe in moderation.

Put the receiver tubes in your ears and you can hear the ocean...... on Endor.

"I'm all ears!"

New prototype brassiere for Madonna

Alexander Graham Bell gets an idea.

When the ice cream man comes, I'll be the first to know!

"My wife says I never listen, so I bought these."

He's listening for signs of intelligent life in the Universe. As like attracts like, I think he'll have a long wait.

A doctor prepares the necessary stethoscope for Dolly Parton's medical exam.

The Gizmotron propelled the thoughts of the user over 600 yards. Arrests followed almost immediately.

Annoyingly, the winner of today's craption contest used one of these to listen in on me coming up with their entry before I managed to submit it.

"I Can hear Uranus!! Why you guys laughing?"

*THIS* is why the aliens won't talk to us.

I'm feeling horny

Ear wax. A big problem deserves a big solution

Sweet beer bong, but you're using it wrong.

Tom Cruise standing next to two average size ice cream cones...

"Hey, man, did you hear the one about--" "Yes."