Other Craptions

To his credit, passing out drunk in the street was around long before cars.

This model has all the options. Not only is there a dead hobo on the bumper, but there's a dead hooker in the trunk as well.

And THAT was the second time I failed my driver's test.

"My name is Inigo Toyota. You killed my father. Prepare to die!"

Trevor would regret getting all up in Henry Ford's grill.

"In the old days, you could kill one bum per car, and that's why it's called a bumper, son."

Hmm... my brakes seem to be screaming.

“If you can think of a better way to test the durability of coveralls, I’d love to hear it.”

Every morning in Ireland, the street-sweepers clean up after the night before.

Earlier designs for car brakes soon left a shortage of hobos.

Confucius say: Man who lay in front of moving car, get tired.

History's first (wait for it... wait for it......) BRAKE DANCER.

“Lorraine, you’re taking the kids away from me in that car over my dead body. Ha, Ha, very funny Lorraine, starting the engine doesn't scare me. Did you just put it in gear? Uh oh.”

Thinking quickly the car put a gun in the man's hand and told the cops it was self defense.

In Madrid, the Spanish truly believe that the punishment for convicted hit and run drivers should fit the crime.

SO much better than the divorce lawyer I used...

Before internet dating, women used this: The Henry Ford Mancatcher.

"I remember back in my day, we used to clean streets with the Irish."

"Ford" was originally an acronym for "Found On Road Dead"

Oh God, please tell me we didn't sleep together.

A bro plow. No, wait... it's a zambroni.

Wow, I didn't realize that anyone... had.. taken a photo.. of that.... Is Cracked blackmailing me?!?

Where'd they scrape up this guy?

The really sad part about the Great Depression was the cars were so slow when you tried to commit suicide in front of one you generally just ended up with a bruise.

Things got so bad during the Depression that some guys interviewed for the job of snowplow.

You never know when narcolepsy will strike.

Excuse me, but your hood ornament fell off.

"Oh, damn it!! I wish this car would stop bringing me back dead homeless people as 'presents' and leaving them on the porch."

The "Back to the Future vs. Saw" movie was, how can I put it nicely... really fucking stupid...

Ford Presents: "The Depression"

Roadkill: You're doing it wrong.

"Back in my day, the only job we had was either pushing or pulling vehicles.... But then the strike broke out."

'Crossing Guard' used to be a much more dangerous job.

Granddad worked as a parking brake for 2 cents a day. I can only assume that Gram Gram was significantly hotter in those days.

Before inventing his iconic guitar, old man Fender had a less glorious job.

What?! It's his bum-per.

Jokes on him when he learns the car is actually a Toyota!

Don't you just love that 'new road' smell?

Early detection and detonation technology allowed authorities to safely clear entire areas of mimes.

.... And so in the name of America, Franklin Delano Roosevelt took one for the team and was forever confined to a wheelchair.

It took automakers some time to really understand how to best use the concept of crash test dummies in safety tests.

"Oh my God, SOMEONE CALL 911! And then maybe call AA for that guy and, um, also Triple A for the other guy."

"Okay, we need to redesign the hearse..."

You can get your Creamsicles on credit from some ice cream men. But if you later miss a cash payment, they will make you pay in blood.

Herbie didn't like to talk about his father. But once this photo of his Dad raping a drunk man surfaced, the self proclaimed "Love Bug" broke down leaking oil over his own childhood memories of forced unscheduled tune-ups.

Professional driver on closed course. Please by all means give it a go.

"Proud Parent of an Honor Student!"

This old man came rolling home.

Leaf quickly regretted his trick of tying 87gn's shoelaces together.