Other Craptions

"Talk? No, Mr. Wilson, I expect you to die."

"I'll see you and your two story tree house in hell, Jenson..."

"Shut up mom, I already have four stars and the cops don't give up at that point."

Rambo had a pretty normal childhood.

Michael Bay's "Old Yeller"

"Lunch money? Hahahahahaha... No I don't have any lunch money today, Randy.... But I did manage to bring ONE OF THESE!!"

"Little Joey from down the block just called. He wants to know if we would like a free t-shirt?"

RPG-willickers.

The first time i shot a load was very different.

And that's how Johnny earned his Total Destruction merit badge.

At first it helped a little, but in the end Timmy still had a small penis.

“I want my two dollars!”

“Jesus Christ, kid! Fine, I’ll take you to McDonalds.”

"Well honey, he needs a bazooka. Kids can't aim worth shit."

In Afghanistan, being "it" in a game of tag is AWESOME!

Deciding that anymore dead civilians could draw unwanted attention, Nerf's R&D team decided they should start looking into foam ammunition.

None of the other drug dealers messed with Stevie.

When he ordered the Modern Warfare RPG on eBay, Danny thought he was getting a role playing game. But the rocket powered grenade launcher that arrived was way cooler.

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus.....so I decided to fuck up his shit.....

Nobody pays attention to those age warnings on the box anymore.

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!!! Eric, why won't Brian respawn? This is not good....Going through daddy's attic was your idea, Eric!! Oh shit, definitely not good...."

I told you it was a bad idea to name our son Danger.

"All I wanted was a Red Ryder BB Gun, but who's complaining?"

Sarah Connor was an AWESOME mom!

Obvious photoshop. Nobody wears their pants that high.

5 minutes later, Francine surrendered.

Back in the woods, a blonde boy and his stuffed tiger look on in envy...

He asked nicely for the kid next door to give back his GI Joes. Then he demanded them back. But diplomacy was not going to work, and now it was time to blow the kid next door to hell. He was going to bring his boys home.

That's not a gun, this is a gun.

I shot a missile into the air; it destroyed my house, right over there. I'd better leave town so very fast, cuz when Dad gets home he'll whoop my ass.

They pull a knife, you pull a gun. They pull a gun, you pull a missile. They pull a missile, you RUN!

No Mom! You go to bed!

"Hello Father, Hello Mortar..."

This is the trick you get when you give out raisins as treats to Tommy on Halloween.

When the dust had settled, a lone figure was revealed standing on the small knoll. Yes, he, too, was a herd animal--but he was THROUGH runnin'. --Gary Larson

"But I wanted a Barbie doll!"

That will be the last time I get socks for Christmas you fat bastard!

Many Israeli children spend Christmas Eve hunting the skies for the sleigh of that Jew hating gift giver, Santa Claus.

Ah, terrorists are so cute at that age.

That touchy Uncle of mine is going to be sorry.

New from Mattel: My First RPG.

This was the last time Wally ever fucked with The Beaver

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but HOLY SHIT, RUN!!!

Pictured: How every 9 year old boy sees a Nerf gun

The treehouse said "no girls allowed", and it wasn't a request. Billy was going to get them out though. He could always build another treehouse after that.

No more classes. No more books. No more teachers' dirty looks. Ever.

The moment that kid pulled the trigger, his childhood became better than yours.

Wedgies. Indian burns. Swirlies. Digger dan crotch shots. Those days are O-V-E-R.

Pictured: After running out of gum, a young Duke Nukem finds ways to spend his leisure time.