Other Craptions

Translated - "Milkman so friend. After bridge fall is little girl hat. Yo-yo trick."

Bathroom gender signs are a little confusing in Japan.

Japan is grossly overstaffed.

Due to an unfortunate typo, this was prosecuted as a hat crime.

On Take Your Daughter To Work Day, young Rose finally learns why all her new clothes have blood stains.

I don't know, Japan - that seems like a difficult way to fish.

In America that girl can get her own F-ing hat.

The long arm of the law only reaches so far. Her sister’s hat was saved. Her sister, not so much.

So, Jill, you say Jack "fell".

GO GO Gadget: Hat Snatch!

That one's too young, pal, you should throw it back.

Translation: It is against federal law to inform the round eyes that we put up stuff like this to fuck with their heads.

Those are the weirdest baby changing table instructions I've ever seen.

“Wow, if I am translating this correctly, it says that all persons are subject to random search, seizure and teasing by the Tokyo Police Department.”

In Japan Marry Poppins is a horror movie.

It's a Trap.

Japanese has a lot of characters to convey the letters "WTF".

Kenji wasn't that committed to his job as a lifeguard.

Mothra bait: I think they'll need a much bigger hat...

Was I able to save your mother? Define 'save'

Warning: Ice Fishing is dangerous. Always, always, always send in a child to do it instead.

'Cultural differences' are never a complete explanation for Japanese iPod advertisements.

“Little girl, this is the third time today I’ve had to retrieve your hat from the subway tracks. You had better hold on to it tightly, because I am tossing you down after it the next time.”

Japan's spider man is a bit on the lame side.

"Well, your mother shouldn't have paid discount prices for bungee jumping..."

The Japanese version of Cat-in-the-Hat ends most tragically...

Ah-Ba-Dee-Ah-Ba-Dee-Ah-Ba-Dee-Ah... Hats fall folks.

Annie the Musical never translated well into Japan

It takes a Retrieval Officer 6 months of training on a crane toy catch gaming machine before he is allowed out into the field.

"...because let's be honest, I get up every morning to clean up after your kids."

With China cracking down on parents who kill their unwanted daughters, this father got creative and dangled her favorite hat over a cliff in the hope that she would try to rescue it.

It simply says "Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers"

Wow, Japan really does have a fetish for everything.

Official Japanese Government Warning (An Official Translation): Warning citizens of Japan.... Shadows will sometimes lie about helping you. Also this is not made of hamburgers. Weeknights on CBS.

"Hey there little girl, would you like to become a statistic?"

Anybody else think an Amber Alert is next?

The mailman was a real ass when it came to special deliveries.

Once again, giant mutants destroy Tokyo.

CAUTION: Transit Police can be serious assholes to little children

Translation: "Fishing for Bond Henchmen Prohibited Here."

So, this is how they play Hangman over there? Wow. That's just...weird.

Ice fishing: You're doing it wrong.

I told her to go jump off a bridge and well you know the rest officer.

Whatever it says, I just hope it doesn't mean they're allowed to probe me.

Hat grabbers now available at C-Mart.

Well Jessica I missed your mother but i got her hat.

Next Time on "Fishing for Matrons": Soon-Yi loses her mother's Easter bonnet.

"STOP! Or I'll pinch you!" - Seriously, though - give the guy a gun... fuck the hat.

"catch the hat" was actually Japan's most popular kid's pastime until they invented Nintento