Other Craptions

"We're gonna need a bigger hamster."

The train robbers walked away with $5.78, two bongs and some patchouli oil.

The drugs already wore off, but nobody wanted to say anything since a lot of time and effort was already invested in this trip to mars.

This train always arrives at 4:20. Unless it doesn't.

It was funny until the Amtrak Express came through, then it was totally hilarious.

Just another Alabama wedding.

Suddenly tragedy struck. A woman in her car was stuck 20 feet out in front of them on the crossroad. She would only have 35 minutes before she was mildly nudged by the Soultrain.

We're gonna cross the border without any papers and give Mexico a little taste of their own medicine.

"To Imperial Londinium where we shall dine upon roast partridge and ale!" "you mean your mom's house for Mountain Dew and Doritos?" "...yes"

"What do you mean, "We're lost"?? How the fuck can we be lost?

Steam punk engine.

After about an hour and much debate, it was Jed, with his decades of experience working the Ozark Express, that saved the day. "That way" was in fact forward.

Cat Stevens was wrong about the Peace Train.

The lost year, when Harry Potter had accidentally boarded on platform 9 and 6/13ths.

Some people will do anything to get out of Utah

Thomas the Stank-Engine

The guy on top is the alfalfa male.

Circe de Hillbilly

...Or as the Native Americans called it, the Irony Horse.

Next stop: 7-11.

The ugly truth of the modern day slave trade.

At the Dexy's Midnight Runner's Reunion there's no shaving, no deodorant and therefore, no sex.

Hipsters, desperate to be a part of anything underground, mistakenly flock to an actual railroad.

The government immediately issued a notice to all conductors: "Don't stop for anything."

When the day was over, and they had made their obscure point about the environment, they all climbed into their Cadillac Escalades and drove home to their McMansions.

The little engine that couldn’t.

In hindsight, we probably should've waited until we got to the top of the hill before climbing on board.

"If you attempt to play the harmonica, you will be thrown into the cage."

0-60 in 80 Days.

“All Aboard!” “More like: All are Bored!” “Fuck you Steve.”

Say- what is a 'rolling speedbump' anyway?

The freaks come out at night on the subway. But at day, they all ride the dreaded Aboveway.

4:20 to Burning Man.

Most incredibly, from the look of that front number, this is a race.

Dave, when I said build a wheel for the animal I was pointing to the hamster UNDER the window not the COW OUTSIDE!!

They thought they could. But they couldn't.

Shop class used to be... well, it wasn't this.

"Dammit guys, this is all wrong! The 'check engine' light is on."

"But Dad, how can you call it a waste of money? You sent me to school to become an engineer."

Around the Street in 80 Days

Just another day at the Polygamy Compound.

As much as many many try, no one has yet to recreate the magic of Buster Keaton's "The General"...

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles gets a "Steam Punk" Reboot...

The first-ever train that DESPERATELY needs to take a shower...

"Okay; Rule #1: We have no horn whatsoever, so now we have everyone say: "WOOO" at the same time. Let's practice this."

"They see us rollin', they hatin'..."

Somewhere there's a guy who's sex fetishes include trains, hippies, and hamsters. He just came all over his computer screen 5 minutes ago

Now THAT'S a Tramp Steamer!

Unstoppable 2: Kentucky