Other Craptions

Of course it's safe, we have a fence up and everything.

It's a ride for the retardant kids.

Whatever religion this is I'm fucking joining

And yet, I can't smoke in a bar.

You've heard of a water park, right? Well...

"Build me an circus worthy of Mordor..."

I wish more people would set their art on fire.

Because jump castles are for pussies.

Sauron may have been evil, but Mordor did have on site child care provided.

With a rumble, Satan rose to the surface, presented his 4 tickets to the carny at the front of the line, and rode the Tea Cup ride for hours.

This jungle gym goes to 11.

Just put some wood chips down. They'll be fine.

Prior to the trilogy, Tolkien wrote the children's book "The Balrog Goes To The Fair"

Oh crap - there goes Grandpa again, talking about how rough playgrounds were when he was a kid

The Devil went to Georgia, he was looking for.....funnel cake.

When you said "bring the kids for a barbecue at the park," I assumed....

"Safe? Of course it's safe! They wouldn't let me charge 4 tickets if it wasn't safe."

From the company that brought you lawn darts...

I love the county fair rides. The Twister, The Sizzler, The Infernal Gate to Hell, The Spinner... I love them all!

Well, isn’t that sweet, they have a playground in Hell for all the damned children.

"I fell into a burning ring of fire. I went down down down & the flames got higher. And it burns burns burns, the ring of fire."

"Dark Lord Sauron is not here to be gauked at for your amusement! Now please move along, and try Pablo's Nacho Stand -- home of delicious nachos!"

"Baptists did this."

I haven’t seen metal this openly flaming since Judas Priest’s last tour.

KISS's merchandising has gone a little too far.

Burning Man had humble beginnings...

They need to put an orange cone out there to warn people about the fire.

Alright. We're ready for stage 2. Send in the clowns!!

The backlash against safe playgrounds has begun

New from Playskool, "My First Burn Ward".

"Don't worry. The waist-high fence and unattended fire extinguisher will keep everyone safe."

Only the strong survive on the playground at Darwin Elementary

I hear this year's church festival is sponsored by GWAR.

The Super Bowl Halftime Show is really going to suck this year.

Guess which one of the Fantastic Four's kids play here?

“Ask people for money to fund a Lord of the Rings tribute, and you get nowhere. But call it a 9/11 ceremony in remembrance of the World Trade Center its two fallen towers and the cash just rolls in.”

Shit, how did that get there? Oh well, let's just gate it off an ignore it until it goes away.

Best... recess... ever...

Tesla's Marshmallow Toaster eventually developed into another assault on God.

Where do you put the weed?

Croquet still sucks.

Oh this? It's uhm... a weather experiment.

Abstract art exhibits need sunscreen, too.

The Eye of Sauron knows what you do in the bathroom in the mornings

You must be this tall to ride the Hell Fire Vortex of Doom.

Satan earns a few extra bucks during the summer as a carny.

The 'slayground' concept never really took off.

Never, ever buy "Lord Of The Rings" tickets from a scalper.

Sorry, this ride is reserved for your least favorite children.