Other Craptions

Somewhere, there's three homeless goldfish.

"Hello neighboring family unit. We just moved in to the housing construct adjacent to yours. As custom we offer you this delicious fruit cake.... Do not fear us."

That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for future therapists.

Daddy, what's an O face?

"...Actually, we're Methodists."

With their biohazard suits firmed sealed in place, everyone got set to enjoy the Amy Winehouse concert.

"Are you ready to visit Mars, son?" "Dad I don't think this is going to work!" "Shut up son, and go dump the baking soda into the vinegar tank."

Jokes on us when they survive the Apocalypse.

"Now that we all have on our best suits, let's go find you two a new mommy."

1980,as envisioned by 1950.

"Hey dad?" "Yes son?" "Why do people make fun of us at school?" "Because we're unique son. Very unique."

They should never have let M. Night Shymalan near the Twilight Zone remake.

Before the invention of scientology, families gathered around the fire to cosplay L.Ron Hubbard novels.

I miss Bill Nye.

"Two Martians walk into a bar..."

In the 50's, auto-erotic-asphyxiation was just... Different.

Ward, I'm very worried about the Beaver

Had Will Robinson been warned of the danger in his uncles basement, perhaps his innocence would have remained intact.

They tried to blend in with the human population on Earth, but there was just something about the Johnsons that gave them away as aliens.

Your move, Technicolor.

Radiation suits on, the Mormon church decided to finally solve the age old question of how magnets work.

Take us to your Andy Griffith

You can tell a good space suit by the craftsmanship of the hand and face holes.

"So, I told my kid that Uranus looks beautiful and all of a sudden I'm not allowed to see him anymore?!"

"Houston, we have a problem child."

"Hey kid, you want to ride on my rocket?"

You can tell by the look in that boy's eyes that the sheer joy of being at the Earthlings of America space camp instantly and totally vanished when he accidentally shit his space suit.

"Trust me, as long as we all wear suits and ties under these space suits, we will NOT look stupid."

The government kindly requests that anyone with analog mind control implants purchase these easy to install digital converters.

"I for one, welcome our new alien overlords, and so does my son. Right Timmy?" "Dad, this suit looks stupid." "Shut up Timmy before you get us all killed!"

I can't help but think that somewhere, just maybe, Rod Sterling is in a better place.

Get everyone dressed up in space suits, tell them you are all going on a trip to the moon and by the time you are at the doctor's office for their immunization shots there is nowhere for them to hide.

"Daddy says I can take off my helmet once my E Level is low enough."

"And we're off to Uranus." "But Uncle Peter, I want to go to Mars to battle the evil Martians." "Trust me, Billy. There will be a mighty struggle once we reach Uranus."

"We...seek...goldfish."

Adrien Brody stars in remake of The Jetsons...

"So help me God Billy! If you make another 'Uranus' joke, I'll beat you up. Again!"

"Kid, if you keep up this God awful farting after we launch . . . well, let's just say that in space, no one can hear you scream."

3 discoveries were made that day: 1) Gus (right) learned that he loved sensory deprivation clothing. 2) Al (center) learned he REALLY liked Sam. 3) Sam (left) learned you can't poop for a week after spending one day with Al.

Shine on you crazy Mormons.

Father, I felt a great disturbance in the Force. It was like a million Uranus jokes crying out in unison.

It was just another awkward and disappointing Scientologist holiday for L. Ron Hubbard's children. Sorry young Quentin, no Santa, presents or normality for you.

Property values in their neighborhood mysteriously dropped that day.

"Dad, are you and MomBot going to make those funny noises again tonight?"

WASPS IN SPACE!

You all think this man is a pedophile playing astronaut so he can gain the trust of young boys, take them to his "space van" and rape them. Well you're wrong. He never has sex with children. He just kills them, so there.

"...Whattya mean it isn't normal? I've been collecting my Feces in a jar since I was eight!"

But Dad, I don't want Nickleback tickets that bad!

In the background, Billy was plotting his next move. He would wait for the right moment & then hack them both to pieces with a machete. NEVER again would daddy dearest lie about taking them to the museum.