Other Craptions

The YMCA doesn't even try to hide it anymore.

If you miss a 'protection' payment to the gay mafia, they first send a warning. A fabulous warning.

I swear the crotch follows you around the room

"I hope this finally brings the chicks around. Because man I love chicks, just, so much."

After much deliberation it was finally decided that the painting would be done above the back door.

"No way! I ALSO like to explore caves!"

Do you have this in 'straight'?

I never needed a safe word for gym class... until now...

"18th of January, 2211 A.D. We have dug up an old large mansion. Currently, we are pondering about the symbolic images in the swimming pool, and who this John Travolta was."

No ... no, this is the first time I've snuck into the women's washroom. No wonder there's always a line up.

Good to see Cracked doesn’t discriminate: Yesterday Cheesecake; Today Beefcake.

"You know what I really want for lunch, Todd? A fat, foot-long Philly cheese steak sandwich. I don't know why."

I said we needed more balls in the gym. What the hell is this?

No no no, I said I wanted two by four studs on the walls.

I wanted a mural of hot air balloons for the childrens gym Steve. Not Hot Hairy Buffoons.

"If only we had a Bedazzler..."

"Mr. Baranaby, first off I'd like to thank you for hiring a local artist to do this mural at the Boys and Girls Club. It took awhile but I'm done. Secondly, I am required by law to tell you that I am a registered sex offender."

"Bob, have you ever been in a Turkish prison? You ever seen a grown man naked?"

“Alex, it’s nothing personal, but I just don’t think this place is appropriate for a Boy Scouts meeting.”

This is why civilians aren't allowed in firehouses.

"I wish you would look at ME like that Andrew" "Not now Steve"

Botticelli's "The Birth of Penus"

Greig, this isn't what I asked for- have you ever actually seen a naked woman?

The Gym attracted less patrons after the "Don't Wax, Don't Tell" Policy was implemented.

"I give this painting two thumbs up!" - "Uh sir... You don't want to do that."

"I know it looks really weird, but it definitely keeps the Republicans & Jehovah's Witnesses at bay. Thank god, I found something that works."

"You had me at loincloth..."

Actually Fred...I said to "caulk" the walls.

Archaeologists unearth Pumpeii

No. No... no. They're supposed to be in a circle, jerk!

"The guys on the team took a vote, Jimmy. And there's no easy way to say this, but, well, you're the best painter we've ever seen."

"Wow - look at that huge... uh, clock."

"Shut up. Shut up. Come here Dwayne. Come here, and kiss me..."

"Oh sure. And I bet it's ALSO a coincidence that every fire sprinkler is located conveniently in each man's crotch... No. I've seriously had enough of this shit, Chet."

Do you like movies about gladiators?

The walls were eventually arrested for indecent exposure.

"I'll be damned if my daughter turns into a lesbian..."

Gov. Brown has asked that all the former governor's wedding photos be removed from the foyer.

They're Lode-bearing nudes...

"THIS is Sparta?"

The most unnerving part of the gym wasn't the art. It was the funky bass guitar playing over the speakers.

You can just smell the taint...

"It's been exactly 20 years since the bus ran into the gay pride rally right outside... The spirits are beginning to show up again. Dammit, why won't anybody believe me!?"

To come here, not wearing pants will be mandatory, but Eye Contact will be optional.

No Larry, this gym is called "The Bear Cave" because we're the North McKinney High Grizzles.

I see gay people.

It's gay, Bill. I've looked at it over and over, but it's still gay.

We will call it: "The Decline and Fall of your Pants."

Newly discovered cave drawings confirmed Abercrombie And Fitch's bold claims that they were in fact founded in 1892 BC.