Other Craptions

Some people overreact when they see a spider crawling on the ceiling.

When man invented fire, he invented the hell out of it.

Well, that ozone layer isn't going to deplete itself.

We told him that sleeping in a tent would keep the bugs off him, but he insisted that this way was more exciting...

Authorities are reporting yet another mysterious massive bird death....

Jake can't sleep without his night light.

Yet when he's on the internet, he is very kind and not confrontational at all.

You should always be comfortable, even when doing something psychotic.

Well, technically yes, he IS a flamer, but he doesn't LOOK gay.

In the end, the only thing that mattered is that I didn't leave any fingerprints.

"...And THAT is how fireflies are born! Any questions?"

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jump over the WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!

"Not the blow job I had in mind," thought Trevor.

"Take that, stupid moon!"

It starts with a fart and a match at age 8 and then, over the years, the obsession slowly grows until you suddenly find yourself flat on your back with a flamethrower and a big flaming problem by age 25.

Eyebrows? What are eyebrows?

For John, watching paint dry is actually a lot of fun.

At the last second I swerved and narrowly missed Jim. I think we can all thank the traffic cone for that.

TOO MUCH COWBELL!!! TOO MUCH COWBELL!!!

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Gary here is pretty fucking insistent that it will be fire.

Whatever you do, don't say the word "Vietnam" when he's around.

Tonight on Fox: 'When Object-Sexuality Goes Wrong - S1EP02: That Burning Sensation.'

“I don’t want you to pray for me. I want you to pray TO me.”

Oddly, the only thing I needed to do to comply with OSHA was have this pylon here

The torch bearer for the Lazy F*cker Olympics.

Nick liked to add a little excitement to his job at the pillow testing factory...

Some people are just naturally flame retarded.

Being stranded in Antartica after killing an alien host that infected and took control of all your friends, one must pass the time...

This is a bit more extreme when you realize that his clothes and pillow are soaked with gas.

"I felt sick and had to lay down...turns out, it was gas."

He was a flame-thrower. But then he flame-threw out his back.

How NOT to train your dragon!

If a man with a flame thrower falls in a forest, and there's no one there to scream, is he still insane?

Gary took making s'mores very, very seriously.

Red-neck Olympics. Lighting Farts while laying in bed - taking it too the next level.

Early versions of the light saber were not user friendly.

Bad Idea #5 - This will clean those cobwebs.

Well... That's one way to strip wallpaper.

... And so the South lost by employing the much less successful "Scorched Ceiling" policy.

You mean I was suppose to GET IN the balloon? Shit.

Ralph couldn't see the hole in the ozone layer so he thought he would try making his own.

Pylons denote oncoming danger. They don't lie.

Harold found a more innovative way to get rid of his 'bloated' feelings.

Chad has the art of procrastination down to a science.

Putting the 'win' into 'Darwinism'.

With no retirement plan, no health insurance, and lousy pay, Paul still had the best fucking job in the world.

Your move, West Nile Virus.

In terms of suggesting avoidance, the traffic cone becomes a bit redundant.

"Ha, fuckin' city thinks they can turn off MY utilities? Guess I'm showin' them who gets the last laugh."