Other Craptions

"You look ridiculous. I'm naked, and even I have a cell phone."

"No, I said meet me by the phone with a HEART-ON"

Hello, eharmony? I'd like to cancel my account please.

"Hello, police? Yeah, he's writing his name in the snow again."

Arctic Superman later froze to death from a lack of phone booths to change his clothes in.

Thank god he chose the backpack. The fanny pack would have just been embarrassing.

The only receptionist in Ukraine

Hey. I'm booty. You called?

It's true; you can get a restraining order over the phone now.

"Hello Doctor? Yeah, hi... Ummm. This is going to sound strange but-*Ask if they deliver!*- Shut up Mark! Anyways, like I said, this may sound strange but, I'm going to need a cure for LSD...."

"Yeah Santa.... it's me.... Listen, we gotta guy here who says he's an elf. He seems like more of a fairy."

Steve knew he had made it to the parallel dimension when he saw pay-phones were still in use

"Someone wants to know if your name is... Mike Hunt?"

Don't you hate it when you don't know whether you're heading to the Bahamas or Mount Everest until you get on the plane, so you try to pre-emptiveless dress for either occasion?

...and that, kids, is how I met your mother.

"Did you say you were looking for the Alaskan Pipeline? I might be able to help."

In Soviet Russia, YOU call on the PHONE. That's not different. However, what constitutes "a warm summer day" certainly is.

Lonely Hearts Column - dowdy Russian woman with fetish for antiquated technology seeks ginger hitch hiker with love of tight fitting pants.

Teleportation technology still has years of kinks to work out.

He couldn't wait for the phone, so he cold-cocked her.

"Verizon: Getting more coverage than AT&T."

Dammit! Even in the wilderness there's a line for the phone!

"The polar bear has just finished eating my clothes - Do you think you could hurry up?"

Bob thought his New Year's resolution was going well... until the cops showed up.

"Hello, Narnia Helpdesk? This is Lucy from the wardrobe. I don't know what you people think passes for a faun these days, but I'm not impressed."

Hotpants, cold balls.

"Yes, Mom? I just called to tell you I'm marrying the village idiot. What's that? Yes, we're in the cold and he's wearing speedos? no, I don't think he's retarded.

There I was at the phone booth. It was creepy. She was dressed all in black and had drawn a huge pink heart on the inside of the phone booth

If she isn't calling the police, she probably should be.

Cold calling.

"THIS is why you wanted me to pack a chair instead of clothes!?"

"Hello, Matrix? GET ME OUTTA HERE NOW!"

I guess I pictured the Love Shack a little differently

You take the backpack. There is a phone booth to the north. It is getting dark. You might be eaten by a grue.

No sooner had he said "I'll wait until hell freezes over"....

LARPing Grand Theft Auto: San Francisco

Hi, Dial-A-Man, I'd like to speak to someone about a refund..

It's not weird if you think he is waiting in line since August.

Hollywood warned you not to backpack through Eastern Europe. They fucking warned you!!!

Sarah was about to learn that you never agree to the "I bet I can fit you inside my backpack" bet.

Though George lost most of clothes to thieves, his back-packing trip through Northern Europe suddenly turned out better than expected...

Her ice fishing expedition wasn't going so well. Numerous calls to bait shops. Where could she find a worm? Then he appeared....

In the magical land of Pornia, Lucy was lost until she met Mr. Tumescent, who brought her home for tea and pumping.

"Fuck off, Bank of America!" *sigh* "Bill, we have to move again."

"Hey mom, can you come pick us up in Narnia again?"

"You talkin' to me? I said, are YOU talkin' to ME? Well I don't see anyone else here, so you must be- oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see the phone."

True stalkers never give up no matter the season.

Now do you believe in climate change, right-wing strawman?

That cop from Reno 911 called. He wants his shorts back.