Other Craptions

The gay mafia has ways of weeding out infiltrators.

Wait, let me reposition my dick a minute--wait, let me--I SAID WAIT!!!

“Yes Frank, you have to wear the pink boa, otherwise everyone will think this looks weird.”

"It's a REALLY funny story on why I have tetanus..."

Help, help, I'm being re-pressed!

"...And that's why I was late to work."

Wait ,where'd you say you say you went to medical school again?

It's a good thing they're steadying him or else this might be...you know...unsafe.

Wait a minute- there's a problem with their gay test. Justin Bieber is the bait.

This sandwich has everything - greens, meat and lots of iron.

“Why? Because if I was to get these piercings done individually in a shop, it would take months and cost a small fortune.”

“It’s an effective treatment to cure pedophilia. We surround the afflicted’s genitals with spikes, add on additional weight, and bring in the Justin Bieber look alike. Any erections are painfully eliminated.”

Punk rock isn't just dead; turns out it died horribly.

If these are JustIn Bieber's parents, I may owe that kid an apology.

If done right by professionals, this is perfectly safe. Unfortunately, this street show was put on by a heroine addicted punk rocker and the local town drunk. The funeral and arraignment are both next week.

Spot me.

Hans, the newly elected King of the German Fetish Fair, steps up onto the platform to give his acceptance speech.

It is a little known fact that the worst torture during the inquistion was being crushed slowly to death, organs bleeding, and "Baby Baby" stuck in your head.

OK, I can scratch that off my Bucket List!

I just don’t get the Scientology circumcision ritual.

You know, I honestly kind of knew this was the way Seanbaby would go out.

"Oh shit! These aren't the stairs to my patio- I JUST KILLED A MAN!!"

Jim knew good and well why they were trying to kill him. Jim did not know why the crowd gathered to enjoy it.

...and now Justin Bieber owns the entire Red Hot Chili Peppers catalog.

"What a day! I'll just lie down over here..."

Next time, on SPIKE TV...

The Segway II is going to revolutionize personal transportation.

Strange men lying on cobblestones handing out kitsch is hardly the basis for a system of government!

Actually, shooting yourself in the head is easier.

"Now tell us everything you know, or YOU'LL be the one sandwiched between the spikes, and I'LL be standing on it!!!"

I dare you to bounce.

King Hippo crushes Seanbaby for his negative Punch Out reviews.

In hell, there is a tenth circle, reserved for those who hated Bieber based on jealousy alone

Vincent D'onofrio was determined to lead by example

And then we all walked the dinosaur

See Justin Bieber, totally safe. Now your turn.

This is the only form of gay marriage ceremony allowed in Alabama.

We're gonna need a bigger Neosporin bottle.

In their defense, Duane never shoplifted again.

Needless to say, viral marketing isn't Pepperidge Farm's thing.

"Wait! Your shoelace is untied!!!"

Day 54 of the Salem Bitch Trials

Come see the violence inherent in the system! Help, I'm being compressed!

Where is a troupe of Morris dancers when you need them?

"Lately, I've felt like such a doormat..."

One Soylent Green sandwich, coming right up

I miss the 1980s.

He's an ex-belieber.

He will soon be a Holy Man.