Santa would find himself on the FBI's naughty list this year
At the North Pole, no one can hear you scream.
"This is the worst Hannukah ever."
Rob Zombie remakes The Santa Clause
From the upcoming ABC/Hallmark Special: Daddy was Killed in a Coal Mining Accident, but Mommy is a Taxidermist and Christmas is Saved!
Our father would often wear Santa's dead face skin around the holidays.
Day 217 of captivity: It is now August, the cookies and milk have run out and the children feed me reindeer.
PLEASE INSERT DISC TO RECEIVE APPROPRIATE COMPENSATION...HO..HO..BZZT..HO....
"Here you go, children, it's what I've given you every Christmas. Nightmares!"
Unfortunately, the children mistook the Soul Collector for Santa.
And like that, all the magic was gone
"Eva, you're on the naughty list this year, but so am I."
"It rubs the peppermint on its skin, or else it gets the coal again."
What part of "you better watch out" did you little morons not understand?
"These were the only two children FORCED into opening presents!"