Other Craptions

Yes, let's put spotlights under it, just in case no one sees it...

GREETINGS! I am the GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ...eh, screw it. Mind the gap. Mind the gap.

You lied and stared at Medusa at the same time again, didn't you?

Japan's head of transportation.

"We have just arrived in Watergate Station."

"YOU THERE, PITIFUL HUMAN WRETCH! Is this the 2:15 to Tokyo?"

Granite, he can be a schist sometimes, but really his bad attitude is all talc.

When you stop to smell the flowers, are they horrified?

As if public transportation needed to be MORE unsettling.

"Next stop: Kyoto train station. Please stand clear of the closing doors. I AM ICHIGO, MASTER OF SCHEDULING!"

"What do you mean there's no room for me on the train? Is it because I'm a foreigner? Hm? Is that it?"

That's one fucked up sundial.

Doug could never stick to a plan. Like when he started sculpting a statue, and stopped before it was done to build a train station instead.

The trains are running a head of schedule.

When they hit the lights after dark he tells a mean ghost story.

"NONE SHALL PASS!..Hey, you! You heard me! Get back here!"

Japan has a very superstitious way to remind their train conductors to wear bowler hats, or else...

...and the new villain in Hellboy 3 is: Coatrack!

"Disney never should have tried to release Pinocchio in Anime."

Think happy thoughts...Think happy thoughts.... I am soo not leering down that girl's clevage.... F#ck, my nose is starting to grow again isn't it.

While not as effective as TSA's full body scanners, I am quite pleased with Japan's security adaptation "Project: Statue-stares-into-your-soul"

"You know that the End of Days are upon you, when all that is chanted in the streets is....Dōmo arigatō misutā Robotto!"

"In South Korea...Statues of Kim Jung Ill are a little more comedic flair!!"

The rail strike pick-it line...

I'd be pretty pissed too if the #4 train kept driving over my dick everyday.

That is the coolest looking yogurt vending machine I've ever seen.

"Which gate do I get on at? - The Watergate?! How the hell will I know where that is?!"

Stoney Bignoggin is threatening to destroy Tokyo! We need a hero! We need....SAMURI SOCK PUPPET!

Mr. Bond, we have dropped off your equipment in the most inconspicuous place possible.

He needs a straw to drink.

In Japan, Jimmy Durante is god. (bet the youngest of you have no idea who this is)

Looks like SOMEBODY is jealous of Michelangelo's David.

The Rail Station Manager said there was a real "Head Case" at the Shang Hai Station -- he wasn't lying!

Train, I am disappoint.

Viagra works in different areas for some men.

The main reason train-related suicides have decreased

Looks like *somebody* lost a bet with God.

Not everyone can make the cut for Mt. Rushmore. But if you think this is bad, wait til you see where they're putting George W. Bush!

If there's one place you don't want to have an awesome sense of smell, it's a subway platform.

Somewhere on Utah, there are two stone legs sticking out of the ground.

Vanderbilt is watching you. Always.

"Nobody 'nose' Rock like 97.5FM, All Rock, all the time."

Well, we didn't want to move him, so we just built the subway around the big guy.

Do you think he's compensating for something?

Without those spot lights, I'd have never seen the creepy 12-foot concrete statue in the center walkway.

Oh, them damned stoners always hanging at the train station...

That isn't a concrete example of why Japan is crazy... wait, yes it is.

He sneezed and the Santa Fe Line went out of business.

Looks like we're gonna need a bigger sock.