Other Craptions

This is why I avoid Ancestry.com

Oh sure it's cute now... but when Michael Vick does it he gets arrested.

When Annie tells you to "bark like a dog", YOU BARK LIKE A FUCKING DOG!

How come all of Roman Polanski's films have the same deleted scene?

Even in black & white it's obvious that is not chocolate on her finger.

Shirley Temple in "The Shining."

POODLEPHILE

To the glee of future historians, we've managed to capture the worst glory hole ever on film.

You know what? I don't even think I want a safeword.

She is serious... and stop calling her Shirley!!!

How she grew up to become a serial killer is beyond me.

New from Kenner, My Little Dominatrix.

"The Aristocrats!"

Betty Paige, Age 4.

Ah, the 30's. When unwanted children could be sold to the circus. It as a better time.

She was fired after chasing the cat and piddling on the carpet. Fortunately, the photographer was able to finish the shoot with the just the dog.

"Dammit," thought Killer, the toughest poodle in the circus, "If I only had opposable thumbs, I would subjugate this species. They are clearly inferior...Ooo! Squirrel!"

I just discovered who let the dogs out.

She's from the SS Lollipop. It's a good ship.

"Only one of you will be spared. CHOOSE."

I honestly don't mind seeing ghosts from time to time, but I really wish the afterlife would start enforcing some sort of dress code...

Silly Rabbit! Dominatrix are for kids!

One day later, PETA was born.

You know it's evil, because of its shifty eyes...

"And this is your butthole in prison!"

What's really impressive is how that dog blasted through a table top.

Back in my day, we took our pictures in front of REAL ponds. None of this painted-on-canvas horseshit!

"I better get a goddamned Beggin' Strip out of this, or I'm taking a bite out of the kid."

This new Viagra ad is misguided at best.

Grandma sends the weirdest Christmas cards.

...and yet another one of my childhood memories lands on the Craption page...

When a problem comes along, you must Whippet... whippet good. Except that's a poodle, dumbass.

Turns out that Underdog is a bottom.

Sarah Palin, when she still had a soul.

Shirley Temple in a role that won't surprise you.

"Fluffy, surely you want to eat this delightful booger on my finger!" "You disgust me, bitch. And don't call me Shirley."

Rex the Wonderdog didn't invent "smell the fart" acting. With Melissa as his mistress, he didn't have to.

Doguerreotype

Poochie's last request for a cigarette was granted right before the second cannonball was fired.

"I'm number one!" said Phoebe proudly. "Unlikely," thought Rex.

"Don't call me 'Shirley'. My name is Muttly Von Fluffykins, you stupid, stupid human child."

"I was gonna teach my old dog new tricks, but I got high. I was gonna crack him with my whip, but I got high. Now he sits there scared as shit, and now I know why....because I got high, because I got high, because I got hiiigh!"

Ah, The Golden Age of Vaudeville. Back before child labor laws or animal cruelty laws had any meaning....

Once I get this dumb little girl to jump through this hoop, I'll have the damn whip & I can retire!

A rare photo of an untouched lilly painting by Monet, before French censors came in and blotted out the loony bits.

"I shall bite off her finger, and then go bury it with the rest of them. Muhwahahahaha! Cough Gasp Barf"

Most people had no clue that Michael Vick was a little white girl growing up.

She indicates "one" although there are clearly two in the photo. Felicia never was any damn good at math.

Shirley "Satanic" Temple