Other Craptions

It’s always a good idea for a father and son get out of the house and do a little mail bonding.

"OK, kid, here comes the mailman. Now just act natural. We'll be visiting Santa in the North Pole by Friday."

I shred a lot of my junk mail, but it usually doesn't scream

"Bill, junk, junk, bill, junk, kid in a Spider-Man costume, bill, oh hey my guy in a trenchcoat and hat came in today."

Jim was tired of being teased for his tiny package.

"The Czech's in the mail" takes on a whole new meaning in the Balkans.

PedEx

Bobby wanted to mail himself to Santa to get all the toys. Jerry just wanted the naughtylist...

This is just punishment for people who forget to include the zip code.

There's no tax refunds this year. Instead, we're mailing homeless families to you.

Hmm... The smaller letter is addressed to Roman Polanski.

The guy expecting two shipments of dope is gonna be pissed.

They've got their zippers open, so when you look inside, you see junk mail.

Some people don't understand what "going postal" means.

My brother's Christmas cards are getting more and more abstract every year.

They were arrested after asking a number of young men to "lick me".

I said Manilla not MAN-IN-A...

On second thought, let's not go to Capadokia. It is a silly place.

I hate bills... even small ones.

They're sex offenders but for $1.25 extra they can be registered sex offenders.

Petey wanted to kill his Uncle Ben for making him dress up like this. Or at the very least, do nothing while someone ELSE killed him.

Take it up with our shipping and fondling department.

I see Eric Idle has found work.

"Excuse me, but has anyone seen Capitol Hill?"

"I doubt there are any drugs in there...but get the dogs anyway. This is going to be fun..."

The FBI's ability to foil a recent mail bomb plot was not as impressive as they claimed.

Your mail order family's arrived

"We have returned. We need to affix the proper postage."

Moments later, they were brutally attacked by goons in an e-mail costume

I always wondered how they ship live turkeys.

The good thing is, since they're using the US postal service to mail themselves, they'll probably never arrive.

Thanks Netflix, but can you start sending me the actual movies next time?

"Hey Bill. Who's the kid?"

Please do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. Just arrest them.

Spiderman has a Yiddish backstory? Oy vey! Who knew?

"Pushing the envelope" is a great idea in flight training but it is a felony in Greece.

When you win Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes, you get a celebrity delivering it. When you lose on the first entry, they send these guys.

"OK, Dad, I'm out of ideas. How do YOU want to try to meet a new mommy?"

... aw, fuck it. I'll just walk this letter over

I've got a 10 digit zip code, ladies.

Little Known Fact: Postal workers are bred to have special flaps for the purpose of gliding short distances.

Oh, hell yes, protest the post office. Don't you know those guys have guns?

More like a blue man grope, if you ask me...

I'm not sure what gender the kid is but I think he's mail.

When a big foam finger just doesn't say enough.

Depression comes in many forms.

Post Truamatic Address Disorder.

Hey, it's the guy who always sits in front of me at the movies!

Ah dammit. I submitted a (late) entry today, but I don't think it went into the contest. Have to remember to submit it from the league page. Oh well. Check it out if you can find it.