Other Craptions

The higher you climb the social ladder, the more complex the place settings get at dinner parties.

All he needed was a knife. But it still wasn't ironic. Just annoying.

Indypanda Jones looked carefully, until he found one wooden spoon among the other gleaming utensils. He dipped the spoon into the honey pot and ate from it. The elder bear replied, "You have chosen ... wisely."

Worst. Superpower. Ever.

I have just one word to describe this scene: Stirring!

The Three Bears liked to keep a trophy of each little girl that fell for their porridge trap.

I love spooning after a great fork.

The louder he proclaimed his honesty, the more quickly my silverware fled.

No Alanis, it's still not ironic.

That waiter shouldn't be expecting a tip.

...And then, rights as the creepy kid in the bear suit starts to turn around, I wake up.

I TOLD YOU NOT TO BRING ANY METAL WHILE MOMMY WAS GETTING HER MRI

I'll never understand Guy Fawkes Day celebrations.

"One for every eyeball extracted," thought Billy.

Little Mikey stared at the wall, and craved Life cereal. True, he would eat anything, but one can never get too much fiber.

Shhh, I told my kid this was art. I wanna see how old she gets before she realizes it's how governments spend taxpayer surpluses.

BEHOLD - Spoon Wall!! When the Flying Spaghetti Monster attacks, we'll combine this with Twirling Fork Well to save ourselves.

You have to realize the truth; there are no spoons. But the bear? Yeah, he's there

Three bags of weed later, Soundgarden wrote the song "Spoonman".

They're all moving towards the round serving platter in the next wing.

Yeah, I just need to borrow a few of these. Some asshole put my honey in a pot, and that's just...not at all easy for my bear hands to get at.

His distorted face showed up in a hundred spoons. Then the shrill cry of "Mommy" was heard. Little bear backed away slowly.

When all you have is a spoon, every problem's soup

He put a trophy on the wall for every bowl of cereal he had captured and eaten, but he knew it was too much fiber....

"Dayum, that's a lot of rich babies!"

Maybe putting up Keith Richards' heroin-spoon wall wasn't a good idea for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Rain Man, as a child, gets his mind blown.

It's like 10,000 spoons, when all you need is a can of bear mace.

As little Susy toured the museum with her mom, she thought to herself "Doesn't anybody fuckin' paint anymore?!"

Aw, it's cute. Little Jimmy thinks he's cultured.

"Perfect", Jamie thought. "All I need now is a syringe and a tourniquet and my day's set."

Geez... Who had to go and spoon all over the wall like that! They'd better clean it up, and quick!

On reaching the cottage and missing the porridge, Mama Bear realized that Goldilocks was upstairs and she was a f**king pyscho.

Pedobear: the conception.

"Too much fiber" gave Optimus Prime one hell ofa bowel movement.

Young Magneto's stay at the Lil' Darling Orphanage was brief.

Al Gore was forced to wear a disguise as his film, "An Imperfect Spoon", failed to generate support for Global Spooning.

My God...Colbert was right! Bears are evil! This one's a silver wizard!!

"I'm your chopper bear in the sky. Looks like the interstate is jamb packed with spoon traffic. There is a concave spoon on the right shoulder."

In the Arctic, I hear Silver Spoons reruns are shown all the time.

The election's are over, so we don't need to be spoon-fed any super-heated rhetoric anymore...

National Lamspoon's "Cutlery House"

A young boy in a bear hat and a whole ton of silver spoons -- what a wonderfully stirring scene!

I said I wanted POON not...

That's right, bitches. I have all your spoons. Now, hand the cookie jar over to me and everything's gonna be all right.

A young Magneto began with petty theft and a decidedly sillier hat.

Hamm's, the beer so rich you can eat it with a spoon.

But where the fuck is the Dish?!

"This spoon is too big, this spoon is also too big, this spoon is too small, this spoon is also..." Little Red Riding Hood, wake up! you're having a nightmare!