Other Craptions

Hi. We're having a two-for-one deal on exploiting my culture today.

You would think for people who spend their days half naked, they could at least trim their bushes.

"Is that a rain summoning idol in your skirt or are you just happy to see me?"

All a man needs is three things: Shade, a big stick, and clothing that makes sex a breeze.

"All I got from my trip Fiji was scurvy and sunburn. The wife seemed to really enjoy it though..."

When you buy the manwich special, you GET the manwich special

They will be the first to tell you that you should not, in fact, put a lime in the coconut.

Next week on "Where Are They Now?"... Vin Diesel.

Noel likes to dress the same way he likes his sex: freaky and casual.

See how he's wearing a mask? That's being inconspicuous.

Jerome, sometimes I think you WANT the Predator to mount your skull on his mantle.

The Wiki-pedia founders are highly protective of their territory...

Ah... Tongo, you are not suppose to wear the shirt while ironing it.

Oh, I know... this is the one where Greg gets hit on the head by the Tiki idol while surfing, right?

Don't laugh; this is Fiji's Batman and Robin!

America has laws against tribal hazing. It's also the reason why Jamal here isn't allowed back at the Elementary School.

Hawaii Five-Oh-Oh

"Ladies, look at your man. Now look at me. Now look at my husband. Old spice!"

Remember, the safe word is "more".

I guess 'fudge' in Fiji means 'parachute' because this guy keeps asking me if he pack my fudge for me.

Do you suppose it's like a kilt? Is he going commando under there? *Swoon*

Stupid man. That's not a broom.

Fijian military attempt the coup d'etat world record...

Overturning the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy will really change the look and function of our SpecOp Forces.

This always happened when you gave a girl the camera on school field trips

A new Travel Channel special shows another asshole trying to assimilate with the natives.

Someone tell O.J. we've found the "real killer."

Hakumele triumphantly holds the Sword of Order that he successfully removed from King Kaheka's rear, making Hakumele the rightful ruler of the island.

It's not that I don't trust these guys but I hate skydiving when everyone can see up my grass skirt.

Two more grams of marijuana and Guitar Hero was created.

Uh, sure, you may have pec that never end, and ... abs of steel, but, do you know how to tie a Windsor knot? Didn't think so!

Because... It isn't really gang-rape, if it's ancient-culture ritualized...

Dammit, how come you never have to be Tonto?

When James tripped over that bush, he was able to catch himself with his wood before landing on his pal. He was also able to throw the stick he was carrying out of the way in time before someone lost an eye.

Their "no shirt, no shoes, no service" rule is a bit hypocritical.

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Carpenter/ SpecialForceCommander/ Technician/ 3rdGradeTeacher/ Plumber/ WitchDoctor/ CulturalReceptionist/ Tour Guide/ Pot Dealer/ President of FIJI!!!!

Hey brah....you help me get the grasshoppahs out of this skirt, no?

Despite their finely chiseled physique, the Fijian rebel's abs were no match for the army's guns.

Looks like someone will soon be a victim of an "am-bush"...

We made a great trade with the Americans. We gave them all of our Gold and jewels and we got these swell guns!

I love it when has beens try to re-invent themselves. Pictured here: Slash Goes Hawaiian.

Pictured: Fijian tax accountants

The new Gun Laws will let literally anyone walk around with a musket. Fiji has never been more interesting.

Dude, that plant wasnt wilting before you stood over it.

When they booked the skydiving party everyone thought John was a nut for jumping dressed like that... Until he landed and became the god of Fiji.

Of course it's safe...we grow our own parachutes!

Skydiving on Fiji is perfectly safe, why here comes your pilot now.

Cleverly hiding behind a bush...the unsuspecting victim will never see it coming.

Ah, good, the prime minister's arrived. The Fijian parliament is now in session.