Other Craptions

Lifetime should never have been given rights to shoot a Transformers movie.

its ok babe. i brought antivirus.

He can turn into a truck. She can turn into a psychotic bitch.

"I think you misunderstood my ad, Im interested in a TRANSGENDER"

Oh yeah? Well, you're no Megan Fox!

"101001100011010101010100011100." - "Oh, you're such a sweet talker."

Due to a freak computer glitch, Match.com was merged with Carfax...

No honey, that boat isn't your nemesis. Will you just relax while we're on vacation!

Sandra could no longer hide the reason she was coming to work with rust around her lips.

Who cares?! I met my boyfriend online at "Robot_Boyfriend_Finder.com"

Soundwave was devastated when she left him for an Autobot that could play MP3s.

9 months later Chuck Norris was born

"Frank, you're just not the Ford Focus I fell in love with anymore."

Some girls will go to great lengths to piss off their fathers.

I have great feelings about where our relationship is going Claire, but you know me, always the Optimus.

Well, to be quite honest, when you first said you were into metal I thought you were talking about music.

"I just need to plug it in long enough to recharge my batteries, okay?"

Men are from Cybertron, women are from Venus.

Hard to compete with a vibrating, oscillating, tireless love machine.

I made you a mix tape

Jenny had been teasing him for so long Rick looked back on the days when only his balls were blue with fondness.

Later that night, she received the famous 'Energon Cube Necklace'.

Moodbot looks sad today.

Mcafee, encrypted for her pleasure

People don't understand our love, and I can't explain it. It's just... He's got the touch. He's got the power... yeah.

All a woman could ever want, love and a mobile mp3 player wrapped into one.

You can see she just yanks it off and carries it around when she wants him to do something. It's pretty effective.

The relationship lost its magic ages ago, but she didn't think she could do better... until she met a Transformer named Vibe.

Space-Bot curses his luck. Not only was he late for an oil-change, but he had once again forgotten to lubricate his gears.

As far as the Autobots were concerned a 'blown transformer' was good news.

"I have something important to tell you Cindy, I have genital rust"

.."Next, on "Cheaters"...

Megan Fox was so distraught at being left out of the next Transformers movie that she made Brian Austin Green dress up like Soundwave for the next month.

Boner, eject!

Betty was so happy! At last a tranny who couldn't stretch her Manolos.

Bcander's takes a picture of me on a date. I was not aware of this at the time.

"Can I give you a ride home?"

I'm guessing this is your first alien abduction....

He made a mixtape for her out of Lazerbeak.

Dave couldn't help but think that Cari was only dating him because he was a car

If even robots stare at breasts, how can we be expected to do otherwise?

If only she had gotten that mail-order Rowboat...but illiteracy had defeated her once again.

Their relationship inevitably failed. She didn't have a positronic brain and he didn't like sailing.

This outfit pays tribute to Soundwave, the coolest Decepticon, and also hides the huge boner she's giving me right now.

"Susie my love, nothing will ever tear me away from...OOOH LOOK! A DUCKIE!"

"Negative. That was not lake Minnetonka."

Optimus was primed.

"I'm sorry, Lisa. I've changed."

The "true" first law of Robotic: You must procreate!