Other Craptions

Edmund was hung like a horse and he didn't care who knew it

And this, Johnny, is how centaurs are born...

The rest of the army fidgeted uncomfortably. None of them could figure out a tactful way to tell Khan that his horse was dead.

Luckily for Percival, his ass broke his fall.

Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker get kinky.

Look for the subtle clues that the artist is into gay horse sex.

Neigh Means Neigh.

Sometimes it doesn't hurt to glance over the owner's manual.

Everyone in the office knew that Phil was screwing his secretariat.

Shit! I'm out of quarters!

Their relationship was a little unusual...but their home was stable.

I said get off your high horse, not get your high horse off.

Fearsome though he was, "Smug Necrophiliac Horse Sodomy" was edged out by "Famine" to take the last opening among the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Who'd wanna fuck a race horse, they're trained to come first.

I'm not saying I approve. I'm just saying that it's difficult to slip a horse 98 roofies.

Wilbur, I forgot the safe word.

The carousels in France are just like the ones everywhere else...just a bit gayer.

It's not what it looks like!! Oh you thought it was beastality? Nevermind.

You can always tell when he's been riding his horse because he walks funny for a while afterward...

When the horse is rearing up it means the rider died in battle. When this is the case....well, let's not go there.

Have we learned nothing from Catherine the Great??

The cafe needed a way to keep people from buying one coffee, then sitting around for hours using the free wifi. This was their solution.

Hello, OnStar. I went out to to war this morning but I couldn't get my horsie to turn over. Do you think it might be the battery?

Checkmate!

"Yeah, no one knows. It was just up there one morning, and fuck if we were going to move it."

"Grampy was born in the 12th century. He can never figure out how to use new technology."

Win a war, even by luck, and nobody argues with the breeding methods in your stable.

It's not that great for riding into battle but it makes an awesome sled in the winter.

The bear rug has stood the test of time. The horse lounge chair.... Not as much.

One foot off the ground means the rider was wounded in battle. A rearing horse means the rider was killed in battle. This...well let's just say he was found dead in the horse's stall with his pants around his ankles.

X-Games 1150 saw the first ever back flip no-handsie underbelly 360.

"Alas, noble steed! Commence break dancing!"

And you turn it right side up, you'll see a man getting a colonoscopy...

Few people know about Michelangelo's work during his drug rehab years.

"Concentrate on the jump," thought the soldier. But he couldn't get the gypsy woman's curse out of his head.

"Well, MAYBE THEY SHOULD PUT AN ARROW STICKER ON THEM SO YOU WOULD KNOW WHICH END IS WHICH? DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT???"

Back in the day, mechanics had a really tough job.

This isn't what I meant by "get back on the horse!"

He and his stallion spent lots of time together and they were "great friends".

A new way to "sit on your ass".

I come from a land down under.

He didn't know how they got into this position while jumping that last hurdle, but he DID know it wasn't going to end well for one of them.

If you look at it from a certain angle, it seems that he is holding the horse's penis. But if you look closer, you can see that it's true.

You should see what he does with the cows!

Camelot really IS a silly place...

You know, I'm not really feeling like coffee anymore...

"That's no steed! That's my wife!"

Why this is outside a cafe baffles me, you can't possibly still need coffee after seeing this fucking thing.

They say that the Native Americans would use every part of the buffalo, but I guess the French had their own way of getting everything they could out of their horses.