Other Craptions

Terminator 5: Retirement Day

Are you a killbot on Medicaid? Do you have mobility issues? The Scooter Store would like to help!

"Humans, Take me to your wheelchair accessable entrance."

Far too late, Jay Leno learned what Conan spent his summer working on.

It's staying close to it's power source: Children's Tears.

... and yet he was easily foiled by a flight of stairs.

"FUCKIN RUN!!! THE FOG MACHINE HAS BECOME SELF-AWARE!!!"

Quadrapalegicon always told his friends it was an "Ability", not a "Disability".

"If I had quit smoking as a young robot, I wouldn't have gotten emphysema and become stuck in this mechanical chair..."

Later Robo-Cop would become Robo-Vet, and people still wouldn't spare him a goddamn penny.

Look at the half-assed transformation process. Clearly, we are dealing with a Go-Bot.

"Systems indicate that he who smelt it has a 99.9% likelihood of being the one who dealt it."

Its about time Steven Hawking decided to direct his genius to solving his own problems.

When he was in high school he shotgunned 12 cans of ethanol at a party, then wrapped his frame around a tree going Mach 5.

It's powered by audience confusion, and LOOK AT IT GO!

Touchy the Robot was banned from the park after repeated requests to be lubed.

The new Smart car has a fucking awesome hood ornament!

There's a Make-A-Wish-Foundation kid crying in his hospital bed because all his dumb ass could think of to ask for was to meet A-Rod.

I hate how handicapped robots always get to cut in line.

New babysitting robot comes complete with sleeping gas and death-grip.

Optimus Prime kind of stands out from his 2nd grade photo.

"What? That wasn't me, Earthlings."

"How I Saved Humanity this Summer with a Potato in a Tailpipe" by Jeremy Stockton, Third Grade.

When is the genocide scheduled to begin?

Arnold's plan to fix California.

"Okay kids, I don't know which of you is Will Robinson, but I think we should all just get the hell out of here."

Nintendo launches its Wii version of Robby.

Steven Hawking 2.0

It was programmed with a scorched earth policy.

That smoking cloud of vapor is all that remains of a car illegally parked in a handicapped space.

XT-1000 thought he would never walk again after the accident, until doctors discovered a new procedure called "pushing really hard on the cable connector and jiggling it."

"No more show, people. Time to initiate lumbar support protocol. Daddy's got a bad back..."

Street Performer 3000 lost his career when the turbo boost portion of his act fried the scalp of the 5 year old behind him.

When Arnold Schwarzenegger became Governor, all his dreams finally came true!

It's fantastic to be plastic.

Robosapien has evolved.

Unfortunately, they forgot to make Xargon's farts invisible.

"Next we have the Marlboro Robot, reminding you kids that it is really cool to smoke."

Those kids would think this robot is totally awesome, if it didn't have his jetpack exhaust installed in his toes.

Now where is that Connor kid?

"I'm a Mac." "I'm a PC." "I WILL EAT YOUR SOULS."

That little girl in the purple refuses to even look at it. She was expecting a My Little Pony and is super pissed.

Meanwhile, at Microsoft headquarters, the developers were getting ready for an all-out battle on open source.

Exterminate. Exterminate.

He transforms into a mobility scooter, enabling him to get closer to the elderly so he can steal their medicine, which he uses as fuel.

The court has ordered StalkBot to go and tell ever parent from the neighbourhood why he served jailtime, and that he has been chemically castrated.

check out my "hip" sound system

You will believe... A metsfan can fly!

Flatucon was forced to blame it on the kid next to him.