Other Craptions

I'm telling you, the BP oilspill had absolutely no effect on the quality of seafood in the area.

Whatever it is, I'm against it.

Pictured: a parade. Not pictured: pride.

Like you've never been to a lawyer's funeral.

"Hey, it isn't my fault you weren't more specific with your third wish. You should have asked for sex, not 'a little tail.'"

With Steve Irwin gone, the marine wildlife is getting uppity again.

"Why the fuck do we always draw a crowd!? Get in!"

Schroedinger's Mermaid is neither human nor fish until you open the tailgate.

Aquaman's funeral was really weird.

An I reading this correctly...Marilyn Manson is dead?

Yeah, that's pretty much how I remember Dad's funeral.

Some fish have strange - nay, disturbing - spawning rituals.

I didn't really run out of red paint. I just didn't want to paint the midget all the way to his junk.

They're on a mission from cod...

Shark Week is starting to get a little low on ideas.

So the producers of Twilight are behind the Splash! remake. How do I know? The abs.

They put the "F U" in funeral...

And lo, Red Dwarf and Bloodface witnessed the resurrection of Fishguy. And thus, a new religion was born.

"C'mon guys, let me in! I forgot my sunscreen."

The Bible says if a man lies with another man he goes to Hades. I'm not sure where that leaves these folks.

After a short pursuit the hearse fishtailed out of control and crashed into a crowd of onlookers.

I thought Ethel Merman was dead...

Its official....Craptions has jumped the shark

You shoulda seen the one that got awa... oh wait a minute, there he is!!!

I love a parade. What the fuck is this?!?

Forrest Gump was right -- Shrimp does go with everything!

This is why I don't use public transportation.

The mob had made good on their promise that she was going to "sleep with the fishes".

"Oh great, honey. Guess who just leased the place next door..."

"Uh, guys? I think your midget is done."

After the spawning ritual the adult salmon prepares to die, while it's scarlet-colored offspring begins life anew.

Some people die... Others, just get canned...

Candygram!

The tailgate party was a flop. She felt like a fish out of water.

"Still want to be a human, Princess Ariel?... I didn't think so. Now get back in the damn car and let's see if we can change you back..."

Whatever...I'm still not going to eat at Red Lobster.

Pretty much what you would find in the canned meat section of your grocery store. Deviled Ham, Tuna, and Spam.

This is why: "I'm the kinda guy who laughs at a funeral..."

Pictured: The one person on Earth who is immune to the fish sticks joke.

Chicken of the Sea Starring Ethel Merman and Chicken Little.

"The bachelor party went wrong. VERY wrong. We need to get the fuck out of here STAT! Go, go, go!"

"Okay, so this one time I was taking acid, and this commercial for Red Lobster comes on..."

You can always tell the really old cars by their tail fins.

"HI I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is Extreme Paved Street Kayaking..."

That is a nasty sunburn you have there Tiny, might I suggest a lotion containing some Omega-3 fish oil.... Oh wait, I see you have that taken care of.

It's a Sicilian message. It means that chick's mother slept with the fishes.

They wouldn't give the little guy a ride because they were being... wait for it... shellfish!!! Ba-zing!!!

You're gonna need a bigger hearse.

Apparently, they forgot to re-hearse...