Other Craptions

Nothing says American patriotism like a gas-guzzling car, obesity, flags made in China and bought on sale at Wal-Mart.

What's the problem? THEY DIDN'T HAVE RED WHITE AND BLUE FUZZY DICE??? OR MAYBE YOU JUST DON'T LOVE AMERICA ENOUGH!"

Ten bucks says he's a Russian spy.

While we watch him, a car with a whole bunch of Mexican flags is sneaking in.

Warning: Standing within 30 meteres may cause sudden patriotism, desire to bare arms, hatred of homosexuals and conversion to a much more complicated system of measurement.

It does 0-50 stars in 200 years.

"Look, I'm sorry sir but we would like a passport."

Oh, thank God. I was worried Uncle Roy would do something over-the-top.

There's no "I" in team. But there's two in "idiot".

"Sir, this isn't the Pride parade you think it is, and yet... you somehow still fit in!"

John passed the U.S. citizenship test with flying colors. Lots and lots of flying colors.

The only way Elton John can travel safely through Alabama.

The Fuzzy Dice are there to "keep it classy."

Finally, a solution to the immigration problem! We'll scare everyone away.

Freedumb!

If Patrick Henry had been able to glimpse the future, I think he may have just revised to "Fuck liberty, just give me death. Quickly."

America: Thinking bigger and more is better, since 1776.

Muscle cars and old fat people, Welcome to America

Yeah but where is your ID, this is Arizona.

The Great Gatsby: Republican version

"Would you have anything that says 'Hey, look at me'?" "How about a hundred anythings?" "Sold!"

These colors don't run, and half the time, neither does the car.

"I'm just saying, if we had spent SOME money on gas, we could have actually joined the parade." "Shut up and wave, Ned."

Behold, social security taxes HARD at work.

Red, White and without a Clue

Yeah we get it. You lack any self realized identity so you cling obsessively to the flag as a symbol of group identity, hoping it will stave off oblivion. I like the old-fashioned horn though.

It's insensitive to call him a flaggot. The term is "flagasexual."

You idiot, Barney! This is not what I meant when I asked you to flag a car!

I hope that's a tranny sitting next to you, Grampa.

And yet, his sunglasses say "Made in Taiwan".

My other cars is a tank, bitch!

They have to stop every two miles to wind it back up.

When Glenn Beck thinks about this, he touches himself.

I wonder what he does with the hot dogs and hot apple pies?

Wet dream brought to you by Glen Beck.

Yeah, Buddy, I'm sure that's what Betsy Ross had in mind when she sewed her first flag :-(

Try driving that car in downtown Baghdad -- then I'll be impressed with your patriotism.

When the going gets patriotic, the Patriot Act.

The fuzzy dice is a little much, don't you think?

One good thing about masturbation over other activities is that, when it's over, you're not left standing there wondering what the fuck just happened.

Why yes, we watch Bill O'Reilly. Why do you ask?

How many laps are you doing around the parade route? This is America, we only need one Revolution.

Amazingly, this is still safer than a Toyota.

Needs more flags.

Silly Grandpa, doesn't know he's in Bagdad

You know, it's not necessary to take "The Stars And Stripes Forever" literally.

Where's your "Support Our Troops" ribbon?

It's official... the terrorists have won.

I find your lack of flags disturbing.