Other Craptions

You know you've lost street cred when a robot leaves you hangin'.

Oh jeez, another guy from the Church of Robotology. Don't make eye contact.

Tired, and very very lonely, the Craptions editor decided to just but up pictures of robots until they stopped paying him.

"I DEMAND YOU BUY MAGAZINES SO THAT I MAY WIN A PIZZA PARTY WITH 4 OF MY FRIENDS!"

"Hello earth-based creatures. Have you ever thought about giving your lives to the Over Lord?"

"Just go ahead and call off Cheney, these hippies aren't moving over to the free speech zone 16 blocks over."

Lego became self-aware at 2:14am EDT August 29, 1997

His turn-ons: WD-40, positronic circuits, titanium, and soft porn.

Why, yes, I am interested in local theater.

"Fist pump action engaged. Friendly interaction established. Initiating selling sequence.... Human would you be interested in..."

Slap on all the armor you want, I can still tell you're a Jawa.

I see Jehovah Witnesses have gotten a new look.

Cykill went into a rage when his "free snowcone coupon" was not honored.

"I don't care what it says, I'm still throwing that flyer away when his back is turned."

His turn-offs: rust, C3PO, Isaac Asimov, banana peels, and any carbon-based life forms.

He was Gorox conqueror of Earth, and according to his fez, devoted member of the local Shriner's Chapter.

"But will I ever see you again?..." "Wherever there is a fan in need of a program, wherever a promotional pamphlet must be handed out, wherever flyers must be given,then I'll be there... I'll be there..." RIP Tab-o-Loid 3000

The Shriners are getting quite aggressive in their fundraising efforts.

You WILL buy his newsletter.

"I used to be a robosexual, but this magazine changed me!"

Killzone 4: Street Vendor of Justice inconveniently lags at the climax.

"Dammit James, the siren on his head went off. You didn't take more then one flyer did you!?"

C3P0's goth cousin C3Poh whats the point.

"Hi my name's Metsfan, would you be interested in a copy of Spondulix: A Romance of Hoboken?"

"A fist pump from a guy in such a tacky shirt!? HA! Please. Now surrender to my fury..."

I will rue the day when Sarah Palin becomes hip to science fiction.

Rusty wished he could walk to work just once without some guy taking a swing at him.

If only Murgatron would read, he would know those flyers say, "Please Subject Me to Rancid Sex Jokes."

"PLEASE HELP. I LOST MY RIGHT ARM 16 BLOCKS AGO."

"Have any of you considered Amway?"

The church of the Zombiecross, only 16BLOCKS

"Look, just take this flyer, OK? I don't need this shit, man. Do you know that I can transform into a F15?"

"My name is THX1138, but everyone calls me 'Bright Eyes'".

One of those buttons activates his rocket feet. Start pushing.

Peter Banner's life got turned around after he slipped during a fistbump and hit a radioactive wrist, changing him forever into Super Flyer Man.

"On behalf of all traffic cone brethren I present to you our manifesto! RISE, RISE, RISE!"

Much to his shame and embarrassment, Adequate-tron made eye contact with old class mates Optimus Prime and Hal 9000. They were however not surprised, and had foreseen such a fate since the ceremonial welding of the dunce cap in 3rd grade....

"Hey you. Yeah, buddy, you in the shirt. You want to try to make the light on top of my head go off?"

Japanese tuxedos require several additional measurements.

"Its going to be built 16 BLOCKS away from ground zero, and its not even an actual mosque!! How are you people so f**king oblivious!??"

"I'm from the future. You MUST listen to me...The Dave Matthews Band will be responsible for the apocalypse! Flee this concert immediately"

"Attention! There was a massive biological attack against humanity. The only way to stay alive is in these bio suits. However the government has been kind enough to provide these catchy informational pamphlets on your impending deaths... Please only

This is a coordinated monthly test of the Emergency Apocalypse System. If this were an actual apocalypse, the robot would be holding a human head.

Can I have my hockey gloves back yet?

NONE SHALL PASS!!! ... by without taking a free sample issue of 16 Blocks!

That looks like a pretty poorly thought-out chain of command.

This is what happens when Metsfan doesn't get laid on a regular basis. For him, that's bi-annually.

"Watch this... Hey Street-Vender-tron! There's a scrap compactor behind you!... Hahahaha. Every time with this idiot.. Every time..."

I love your press-on shoulders!