Other Craptions

"Phil, have you fixed the pump yet?... Phil?"

The signs of the Apocalypse shall be many and three fold- The rivers and waters of the earth shall run red. Enormous men shall converse on handheld devices. And enormous sacks of flour will fall from the sky.

The statue in the wishing fountain was not very fond of coin looters.

His parachute failed where?

"Call the Blood Bank and see if they got our chlorine again."

Hello Father? It's Tony, listen, I was downtown today and I noticed the fountain in city squared was turning to blood and i... oh, it's happening everywhere? Right. Okay. So I... repent, be with loved ones, gotcha. Prepare for the Rapture. Uh huh. Al

In order to increase terror awareness, Homeland Security installs color-coded dye into the tap water so that people will know the terror level with the simple turn of a faucet. Perhaps unsurprisingly, people still don't care.

Finding a giant, unused tampon in the middle of the city is like squeezing blood from a dolphin-raping statue.

"Listen, punk. That's a neat trick, but it's gonna take a lot more than that to prove to me that you're God."

"Honey, would you just look at the fountain please?"
"We saw the fountain last time we came here, Melissa. It's boring. You're boring."

Yes I've used the WIND CREST! and I've put the CHEMICAL in the fountain, now what do I do with the RED JEWEL because it keeps telling me "you can't use that here"!?

Hey, boss? I don't think we should dump bodies in the sewer no more.

10 minutes and 20 bodies later, the mermaid still needed more souls.

For the 78th time that day; Steve missed his mouth with those damn Strawberries.

Trafalgar Squares new "Fish Fucker" statue had been under constant attack by PETA all week!

David Blaine's most recent stunt, living underwater in a blender for 40 days, ended with horrible consequences.

Bob? Listen to me, Bob. We're fucked, Bob. We killed the Kool-Aid Man. And there's no running from it this time, in five minutes the streets'll be so full of black kids cutting school for free punch our white asses'll be beached.

Hypothetically speaking, what if I DIDN'T catch the murderer before noon?

"Luminous yellow jacket.... by the blood fountain...you must have seen me!....Bitch..This is the last blind date I'm ever going on"

"seriously, have you tried it? it tastes like fruit punch!"

It was Jeff's lucky day. First, he found his blue jacket at half price. Then, he got to tape the Kool-Aid man's creative suicide.

God couldn't help congratulating himself on his construction worker disguise as he ordered in the blood. One plague down, nine to go.

Every 28 days the people of Rome know to stay away from this statue.

without Scheider, Spielberg, or even a decent filming location, Jawz: Urban Terror was destined to fail.

The aftermath of the June 19th Craption picture.

After asking god for a sign to show him that he really should tell the world about its impending doom, Ralph recieved a phone call from Rico, his crack dealer, and this time it was apparently "the shit."

You said: dump the bodies in the water somewhere.. and now what?

"That's the third time our hellplug has gone loose, and I'm not gonna go in there to drag a freaking statue around while my soul is devoured by - no, what I'm saying is we just need a better plug already!"

What? No, I swear I wasn't the one who shit in the pool!

Well the thing is... no one told me NOT to put piranhas into the fountain.

"Yes sir, they are at it again, they even left one of their giant Jello packs at the scene, if you can send out a spoon, I'll get this cleaned up. Oh, there's always room sir."

"i know phill i know....but atleast its defo not pregnant"

uh huh...yeh i know jim told me to stop the women protesters having their periods in the fountains, but there were too many!