Other Craptions

Aha! The old "Pedophile disguised as a large toy in the window" trick!

Sorry, but my mom already yelled at me for bringing home four ninja-looking turtles I found in the sewer.

In a mind-blowing twist, the sign refers to the sign itself. The power ranger behind it is totally incidental.

When Lord Zed finally won and retired as a bartender, he didn't knew what to do with his taxidermied enemies.

"Will fight Japanese-style against Monsters for Food."

CGI has really made it hard on stunt actors.

Uh, I'd be sure to hang on to THAT receipt...

Next, on To Catch A Predator: Fanboy Edition...

His other sign, "Take me to the Prom" didn't work quite well, either.

Sure....and the next thing we know, our house will be torn to pieces by some squid/lizard hybrid that you have a beef with.

"Take off your mask first. I need to make sure you're not Carson Daly."

Last week's sign was "Give Me Head for Hanukkah"

Go go Power Ranger! No, seriously, just go.

He is cheaper than the grande latte.

Somewhere there's a honey-glazed ham out trying to save the world

I'm afraid taking up his offer will result in jail time.

I would, but I'm not supposed to fraternize with Power Strangers.

Suddenly that Red Ryder BB gun doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

The only way to stop Robot Santa.

Mighty Mooching Hobo Ranger

Trying this will NOT get you dates. Trust me.

Dad, I promise I'll teach him to get the paper and fetch your slippers and defend the house against humanoid monsters.

Lonely Orphan Power Rangers

Then just put me to the curb on New Year's.

But for fuck's sake, get him out of the house before Chinese New Year

"Come play with me. Forever. And ever. And ever. And ever. And ever..."

"I can morph into a bean-grinder."

Trust me, ladies, this toy has never been used.

Shit. When Timmy stops caring about him in three days there's no way he's gonna fit down the toilet.

...and get your ass kicked by me on Boxing Day

Well, I guess this should still turn out better than last Christmas when Snake-Eyes and Spirit showed up with that peyote.

The Power Rangers fell onto hard times after high school, since all that time they should have spent studying was spent fighting alien ninjas.

Imagine being the kid that sees this and really, really wants it... but he's jewish.

Mighty Horny Rump Ranger

Christmas? Sorry, I thought you were a Mighty Mormon Power Ranger.

They say that one of the Grinch's body parts grew three sizes that day

Must be a great view for the diners

Don't let the color fool you, I'm still man-flavored.

Aw hell no! Then he'll want to stay until New Year, and you know how late those Chinese celebrate New Year...

Inside, the sign on his ass said, "Now eat my shit and die! ROFL!", then on a carpet square on the floor, "You are looking for my shit! LOL!"

"Lord Zed's dead baby, and I'm out of a job."

Yule love my log

You should see where the Black Ranger ended up.

Make sure you keep him as far away from your Voltron figures as possible.

He'll put your eye out, kid

It was too late by the time Bob learned he was standing in the window of a Jewish Deli.

Oh, thank God! When you said you wanted to see the OTHER guy in the red suit on Christmas Morning, I thought you meant the Devil! ... still, we're not getting it.

Thanks, but I already have a Voltron figure at home, and it's PRETTY MUCH THE SAME THING.

Mighty Morphine Suppositories sold separately