Other Craptions

...and then after I'd skinned them I buried them under that tree. God it feels so good to finally get this off my chest. Are you gonna take me down the station now? Hey, guy? Are you even writing this down?

So your attacker then told you to "Eat his shorts"?

"In all the eighteen years I've been guarding these tires, I ain't seen nothing like this. They just popped out of nowhere an' stole all the grass, officer."

That's a pretty good description...how long exactly were you watching him rape that little boy?

Certain breeds of Python are known for their trickery and trap-setting skills.

Pablo was still having fun with his drawings, but Mike felt the whole park scene had become completely tired.

"You may have caught me officer. But you'll never find out where I stashed the tyres"

Roger's fake ID, which had worked for him for so many years, was finally exposed

Say, this is a wheely cool place! Sorry.

As he reviewed the man's sketch of John Connor, the T1000 knew that it was going to be a very long day.

Later, at the police station: "Well, according to the sketch, you should be on the lookout for a man with a square face, short hair, a large nose, an enormous mouth, no ears and a tattoo saying 'by offisur hary' on his chest."

This was no time for serious police work when Richard discovered that he was sitting in the fabled magic donut patch.

The fifth wheel, the outcast if you will, never cared for the humans, and would always remain at least 7 feet away from them.

Gray sweater would answer the officer's murder questions all right. But what he did with his hands, as he rocked his body taut against the tire and stared at the blue legs spread wide--that was no ones business but his own.

"So... when you're done doodling, I can show you where the bodies are."

The German Rubbersnake is notorious for its cunning camouflage technique and its taste for security-artists and people with poor fashion-sense.

Now that Loch Ness had dried up, they would never find that damn monster.

Cop: "Seriously, I don't have time for this shit, where did you bury the 18-wheeler? Don't even act like I can't see the thirteen other god-damn wheels. God I wish I'd gone to art school!