Other Craptions

All those tree huggers from the 60's are going to have a lot of explaining to do...

After years of neglect, the lawn finally got up and walked away.

Never spread mulch on an Indian burial ground.

Okay, BP. Mother Nature is finally coming to personally kick your ass.

Zombies by Pottery Barn

See? People were experimenting with terminators 1,000 years ago.

Honey, did you hire that emo art major to rake our yard again?

I think we should maybe get out of here, this guy has been slowly approaching for an hour

Although many children were scarred for life, they finally kept off the damn lawn.

Somewhere, there are four hobos walking around with free scarecrow outfits

HBO's Deadwood as directed by Tim Burton

Cracked Gardening Tip #1: Adding sculptures distracts from the fact that you're not taking care of your yard at all.

Get off my lawn, punk-ass birches.

Hello, you might remember me from your childhood nightmares, and your first trip on LSD, but today I'm here to inform you you've finally snapped!

They are here to tell Greenpeace to take it down a notch.

Mother Nature, fed up with pollution, begins building her army.

Styx! (nobody has done that one yet? seriously?)

Honey get in the car. We're moving.

You cannot make bricks without straw, but straw can make you shit bricks.

This is the consequence of a high-fiber diet.

"I was terrified for a second. Then I realized I could kill them with my cigarette."

Morning wood. Or mourning wood. Works both ways.

How come this kind of stuff only happens on my shift?

If you go down to the woods today you're sure... HOLY SHIT!!!

The evolution of twine

This is how the Amish teach sex ed.

The evolution of morning wood.

Good fences don't always make good neighbors.

Trees. Sick of our shit.

This rare species went extinct shortly after the invention of the basket.

Roots is getting a gritty, and misguided, reboot.

Metallica's next big hit: Enter Woodman.

Kate Moss's less popular cousin, Stacy Sticks.

We need to get some goddam eyes, this is ridiculous.

So this is the Governments latest project? Yeah, they're branching out.

I'm out of Craptions, to be honest, this is much more normal than I'm used to.

The latest batch of genetically modified seeds had some problems.

Unsurprisingly, all the obese ones took the elevator.

Your move, Darwin.

..and you thought my degree in basket-weaving was worthless!

To all of those people who said i couldn't literally plant my seed in the ground and watch it grow: SUCK IT!!!

Dermatologist- "We have NO IDEA what's wrong with your skin... but if it's any consolation we'll NAME IT after you"

Can you please move? I can't see the forest.

The next step is Mickey Rourke

Nope. Four more weeks of winter.

South Jersey is just... different.

If this is leading up to some Deliverance theme, I'm out.

Never ask an avante-gardist to make your scarecrow.

How they teach evolution in Kentucky