Other Craptions

Your wife would never have found out if you had just hid the hookers in the closet, but nooooo, you had to get creative!

I think I lost my keys in the cracks of the chair, but I dont dare look for them until the company leaves.

Putting a small flower in any room always adds a little class.

These girls are ready, willing, and table.

The only bad part is that there are a lot of awkward boners when the guys come over to play poker...

The only things I got to keep after the divorce

"Ha, and they said my hobbies couldn't be combined!"

I can't wait until my toilet arrives

"Grab the shotgun... the other chair escaped!!"

How to keep your parents from visiting: Tip #328.

Now that's recycling.

"What missing women, officer?"

Even serial killers can be interested in design

When I told you his new girlfriend is a doormat, I seriously meant a doormat.

The Ikea instructions to this set is often mistaken for the Kama Sutra.

I'm impressed. It's really hard to find tables and chairs that match so well....

The Quagmire collection.

DONT ask about the Love Seat.

Rihanna should consider herself lucky. This is what happened to Chris Brown's prior girlfriends.

Human Centi-piece

"And talk about practical. The hooker's stiletto doubles as a corkscrew!"

Brenda knew she didn't find Mr. Right as soon as she entered his apartment.

I couldn't figure out how to disguise the radiator , then it hit me

I see there's just a seat for 1, what a shock!

...and this is how Charlie Sheen finally got his divorce.

Insert bolt into Slot A or Slot B, your choice.

"Get RID of it?! Aw dammit Hillary, I've had this furniture since college!" -Bill Clinton

Never mind the jokes....Just tell me where I can get one!!!!

Now how did my chair get a yeast infection?

"Why does every meal we eat taste like sushi?"

The Red Light Furniture District

What do the matching lamps look like???

The 40 year-old bachelor furniture collection brought to you by IKEA.

"If you're going to use a cup, please use a coaster."

usually when I buy furniture it comes with to many screws and not enough holes; not the other way around.

I love hooker hide and seek!

When you said you were "waiting tables", I assumed that you worked at a restaurant...

The Russian spies did their best to hide, but I just pretended not to see them anyway....

Not exactly how I pictured a table dance, but I'm game.

You don't wanna know what's being used for an adhesive.

"Libby must be okay, because Jim said she treated him to coffee today. His exact words were 'I had a coffee on her.'"

Trust me, you do NOT want to see what the toilet looks like.

"Wow! They're great! Where can I get a pair?! Those two wall paintings will look great in my place!" -George Michael

My furniture has an expiration date

The episode that killed "Trading Spaces"

"That's not what I meant by Stool fetsih"

Let me guess.... The bed's a fat one.

Furniture to promote the idea of Eating Out, while eating in...

Thats the last time I buy furniture from Craigslist.