Other Craptions

Diane's anti-rape suit was surprisingly effective.

Smile and the world smiles with you. Sneeze and three pedestrians die badly.

Jim just wanted to sell balloons. That was all.

For whatever reason, the condoms kept breaking.

Common misconceptions about alien probings are that they need to abduct you first... and that there's only one probe.

The balloon's most fearsome natural predator.

"Yeah? Well maybe I didn't WANT to come to your stupid bouncy castle birthday party!"

Of course the supercollider has no side effects. Stop being silly.

People may not always have treated Larry so well, but they sure respected his personal space.

World record holder, most marshmallows roasted at once.

He could stand up to his brother made of straw, but his brother made of bricks always called him a pussy.

I never should have sent my ex-wife that voodoo doll...

Stan just wanted a hug...

After Christmas, when the needles dropped from the tree, a sinister secret revealed itself...

"I know what you're about to ask, and the answer is very carefully, and it takes FOREVER to wipe."

Warning: DO NOT touch your anti-matter twin.

People of Earth, I come in pieces.

Warning: May attract lightning...

Have I broken the fucking record yet!?

Hellraiser really needs a shave.

yeah bro I totally nailed that chick

He's positive. They're all negatives. Together...they fight crime.

What's your point?

This'll be like trying to find a person in a needle-stack.

"Yeah, you may have a point there. Okay, okay, several

...and that's how I lost my job at the massage parlor.

Stan's social life may have been awkward, but his TV reception is outstanding.

Magneto on a bad-hair day.

Poor Wayne. He was really a nice guy, but everyone assumed he was a prick.

Some assembly required.

Wow. Spikes. You know, if I were hunting the Invisible Man, I would have used paint or something to reveal his position, but whatever man.

"Are you still alive?" "Yes." "More needles!"

I swear, the next person who calls me a "pinhead"....

Here we see a good example of a real die hard metal fan.

"I've had my tetanus shot, right?"

Do you suffer from flaky, itchy skin?

If you prick us, do we not ble... Er? what the hell? we dont! we dont bleed!

Single treeman seeks mate. Non-smoker a must.

Dammit, Rodney! No wonder we're not getting any reception! Go away!

Our College Science Club was surprisingly into hazing.

Styx, Live!

Colonel, I think I found the Indians.

So what if taking the lord's name in vain is a sin. What's he gonna do ab...

Magneto's trip to the hardware store was a total disaster

"Okay, you've had your fun. Can I please have my Stephanie Meyer voodoo doll back now?"

It doesn't pay to go with a cheap force field.

When you lack personality, money, power and brains, this is the best way to get nailed.

Statue outside the Holy Acupuncture Academy, Bejing.

George quickly learned that acupuncture was probably not a do-it-yourself kind of thing