Other Craptions

Bob the Builder is sick of your shit.

Stephen Hawking has the BEST yard sales.

The little engine that could murder you.

"I'm a Mac." "I'm a PC." "I AM DEATH INCARNATE."

This thing bulldozes AND gives you three chances to win a stuffed animal!

BULL-E

Paris Hilton's gynocologist takes great precautions.

Santa's finally reading my letters...

This is actually the safest ride at the fair.

Teddy Roosevelt's tonka toy.

This is either an awesome weapon or a terrible snowplow.

This year, Doctor Octopus was sure to win the bobbing for apples event.

I need to literally rip my neighbor's ass a new one. Got anything for that?

God's right hand was back - and it would take no shit from anyone

"Calm down, Larry. We'll get the gerbil out!"

Comedy Central may have stopped airing BattleBots a decade ago, but its spirit lives on in rural high school parking lots everywhere.

No one parks handicapped in my mall.

And it can be all yours for the low, low price of JUST ONE TESTICLE!

Because honking doesn't work.

"Do you know why I pulled you... never mind."

Do Not Litter, Motherfucker.

... for those times when you just can't find a parking spot

Please insert large coin to operate.

Proof why engineers don't do janitorial work.

Proctology nightmares are scary.

No thanks, my back isn't itchy.

"And so honey, we can add this to why I do not like to go to the mall and shop!"

I always suspected the mannequins were plotting our overthrow....

Gary Busey's Construction Rental

Yes, it could destroy, the scientist mused, but could it learn to LOVE? No, he decided, as it pulled out his spine, probably not.

Oprah need something that could get to those "Hard to reach places".

AND I still didnt get the prize

Steve Martin is having this delivered to his dental office.

One of the more peculiar items found in Neverland Ranch...

If you build it, they will point and laugh.

What I wanna know is what the hell happened to those mannequins?

ok now, just turn your head and cough

The crackdown on cock-fighting has led to... PLOW FIGHTING???

How much are they and where can I get one

After the 2002 incident, the Georgia State Fair decided to permanently ban H.R. Giger from the tractor pull.

Assimov's 4th law of robotics: It's okay to waste a few humans, if your weapon's awesome enough.

Suck on THIS, Speed Racer!

Football was never the same after the Giants introduced their new defensive line.

Hopes for a breakthrough in mammogram testing were dashed today when it was discovered that the inventor was actually just a sadistic woman-hating jerk.

A scrapheap for rejected Dr Who villains.

Immigration laws just got interesting

Dick Cheney's childhood toys are now on E-Bay!

Based on the costumes of the mannequins in the background, I'm guessing this is getting marketed as a sex toy. An awesome, painful sex toy that smells like diesel.

Well yeah Chuck, changing diapers is gross, but this is a bit much...