Other Craptions

Arranged marriages suck.

"Gee Dad, when you said you were getting me a Firebird, I was kind of hoping for a Pontiac".

"Examine it closely my son. It will be the only tail you see wearing that get up."

David didn't like it, but his dad never really caught on to technology, and insisted sending tweets by carrier pigeon.

"He will fly from your arm, Notak of the Swev'larth Tribe, and he will be your instrument of vengeance upon our enemies. Mainly, he'll shit on their cars, but he might scratch them a bit, too, so."

Kurosawa's Ladyhawke

As in the Catholic Church, the Inuit religion chicken hawks also wear funny pointed hats.

"You are the bravest warrior in all the fairgrounds."

This is what people in Alabama think Canadians look like.

As Mr. Miyagi got older, his training changed from unorthodox to a prosecutable offense.

...I will name him Harvey. And nobody will get the reference for another 1400 years.

Who'll gimme $10, gimme $10, how bout $9, who'll gimme $9, $9, $9? SOLD to the lady with the Green Hair & the "HORNY" sign.

Son, you may have my bird, but not the robes. They make me look pretty.

"With this falcon I thee wed."

So I just pull on these feathers back here to make it go?

Master Chen was determined to succeed with his line of seeing-eye falcons.

"Number two son, you must always remember to let the falcon do number two before you begin."

The Eastern Unorthodox Church

Everything's made in China. Even insanity.

Karate Kid: Origins

In China they use Chopsticks. In the West, we use Forks. In Mongolia, they use a crudely made wood-thong that is to be sported on your belt at all times.

The Chinese built the Great Wall to keep these guys out!?!

Lone Wolf thought,"I become a man and THIS is what I get? I wanted a rock for my slingshot!"

Harry Potter, NO he's Indian it's Hairless Potter

"You never expect the Buddhist Inquisition!"

who needs a time machine? Just travel to Mongolia.

No, it's not dead, it's just resting after a long squawk...

Next time, on "Tibet Has Talent!"

China's plan to return the Ring to Mordor was slightly less reliable....

"I hereby declare you man and bird."

Asian Davy Crockett never would have been king of the wild frontier without his Wizard master or pet falcon.

He's thinking Arby's.

When the 'negotiator' arrived, Hong realised the authorities were not taking him seriously.

The Ambiguously Communist Duo.

A bird in the hand is worth... less if you're dressed like an idiot.

If all went well, Dad would soon have a birdman grandson to call his very own.

for this, i trade entire villiage

What a great gift! Who doesn't want a little tail?

And all I got on my 13th was a lousy bar mitzvah.

"I'm confused. How is this supposed to make me less awkward toward girls?"

The Falcon and the...Doh!Man

Here, maybe this bird will keep the other kids from kicking your ass. What I'm saying is we're all very disappointed in you, son.

Somehow, "Three's Company" didn't translate very well in North Korea...

No animals were hurt in the making of his hat.

Well son. Mom writes that she's never coming back. She's found a better life in Alabama. HAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Kamikaze Phoenix finds friends to kick some Asian-bashing craption ass.

Down Syndrome convention.

Very few people knew Davy Crockett survived the Alamo... or his secret to Time Travel.

The Pope's not the only one that wears a funny hat.