Other Craptions

"I'll take what's behind door number two, Monty...."

She should quit while she's a head.

"OHH rook at me.. i'm a white girr, i rike shoes and shopping..." - Racist Asian

Jigsaw fooled Tila Tequila so easily, he almost felt sorry for her. Almost.

Everybody wants a little head!

Even after being decapitated in a horrible accident, Lianna still felt the need to hit the treadmill.

The American art of illusion doesn't translate well into Japanese.

Tammy was forced to this after she discovered the only way she could get her family to listen to her was if she was addressing them from a television.

"That's right lady, smile like the Masked Magician hadn't already spoiled this trick for everyone."

This is the worst season of Idol yet.

How the HELL did I get here?!?!?! Last thing I remember was being in this car full of weed.....

Why do all lostgonzo's girlfriends end up like this?

You aren't fooling us, hon.

"Wow, David Blaine just turned into a hot asian woman. Finally, he's done a stunt I approve of."

Damn, a cougar will do anything to get laid!

"And the winner of JapaneseIdolSpecialOlympicsGameshowFunTime is..."

Who took pictures of my basement!

"I expect you to do me, Mr. Bond!"

Maybe next time, the illusion will work if you ask for a white woman to volunteer.

They're turning her into one of those mudflap chicks!

American Idol contestents have just 30 seconds to sing, escape the strait jacket, and exit the box before Simon releases the tigers.

One by one, the the panels were removed, exposing a progressively fatter woman.

The first sex-bot prototype was heavily hyped but ultimately disappointed.

IT'S A TRAP!

Pictures found in Michael Steele's camera taken during a recent RNC outing.

OK, relax. You've been decapitated. Now what? Well, the bright side is, there is ONE job you can still do.

Quick! Now make the top disappear!

Margaret Cho still isn't funny

Doesn't this box have an awesome slimming effect? I can wear it anywhere!

Scientists finally created the perfect woman. This is what was left over.

Only too late did they realize that her grimace wasn't faked, but caused by being trapped in a box with her own vegan diet causing flatulence

Most people don't realize that the opening segments for 007 movies are filmed live in front of an audience.

Butterface?

"No, no, no! I wanted the head to disappear and the torso to stay! God damn discount magicians..."

its elaborate for a glory hole but count me in!

Soooo... what exactly is the return policy on my mailorder bride??

She can tell your fortune. Of course, if you get near enough to hear it, your fortune will always be "you are about to be killed and eaten by a mecha-spider-woman."

Years later, John Bobbitt exacted his horrible revenge.

Positioning herself against the hole in the back of the crate, she said, "And now, for my next prick."

She's my better half.

Carrie Ann Inaba paid the ultimate price for her participation on Dancing With The Stars.

Criss Angel then locked the crate, dropped Tila Tequila into the bottom of the ocean, and suddenly seemed like a lot less of a douchebag. It was his greatest magic trick ever.

And that kids, is how I met your Mother!

Well, I payed for the mail order bride in installments so I guess it's only fair they send her to me the same way....

Guillotine! the new game show on Fox!

This is what Baptists think Catholic confession is like.

Cunt in a box

If they reveal the bottom half to have a penis and man legs, I'm not really gonna be surprised.

The worst 5th birthday party in history