Other Craptions

For when he wants to go sideways REALLY FAST.

Once I hit sixty MPH I drop one of these babies and I fly like dragon!

Can't talk, gotta go hunt sharks with my moped.

ACHTUNG! Danger! Passing gas!

Bondphobia: Fear of being chased by secret agent down streets of downtown Tokyo with out large metallic object to throw in his path.

Doing his part to reduce his carbon footprint by jamming a rubber hose up his ass and collecting all his personal methane...

While many rock fans collect weird arcana from their favorite artists, Bob's was truly the creepiest. He collected Meat Loaf's used oxygen tanks.

Putting bigger tanks on your rice burner will not turn it into a Harley.

"Who needs a horn? All I need is the sound of two metal cylinders clanking together to get people to move out of my way!"

He had the perfect plan for meeting chicks. He'd sit around nonchalantly until a girl came along and asked him what those tanks were for. "Tanks?" he would respond, "Tanks for nothing!"

Flee plopane! Flee plopane!

Busy at work, Hiro pauses to remember his favorite photo of his mother: "Where'd she get that wooden shovel? Gilligan's Island?"

Mobile fountain pops were test marketed in Tokyo to no success.

Opening scene of a mid-90's Jean Claude Van Damme movie.

"Make way, I got more fuckin baloons to blow up for that horn playing idiot".

The dogs aren't going to BBQ themselves you know.

Stealing the nitrous oxide from the dentist's office was easy. Figuring out to get it home, a little more difficult. Now all Yoshi had to do was figure out a way to get it past his folks and he'd be all set.

Thai food always give me gas.

If only he's gotten that GPS ap for his cell phone he would have been able to find his way to the Tokyo subway system in time to release his poison gas for rush hour.

"Rook out, asshores! Framabre riquid on board!"

you're making it look kind of obvious Ahmed

Bumper sticker reads: My other death-tap is a Toyota.

A motorcycle AND two giant explosive tanks? Dude...you HAVE to stop compensating.

Oh don't worry about Jackie, he's just drunk.

His t-shirt says "If you can read this, the bitch propane tanks fell off."

Later, as pieces of him fell back toward the Earth, he wondered if this had been such a good idea.

"If I don't keep this scooter above 7 miles per hour, it'll blow!" said Keanu Reeves to no one in particular.

Because it's important to put the safety belt on your iron canisters.

"If my calculations are correct, I should be in New York in 12 minutes!" he said before blowing himself to pieces.

Some men are born Darwin Award. Others earn Darwin Award. Others have Darwin Award thrust upon them. Jerry was hoping to be the first to achieve all three.

We're gonna need a bigger... moped?

...what scooter bomb, officer?

See how they don't even look twice? I'm telling you man...the Japanese are JADED after exposure to so much messed-up porn.

That guy's career just tanked. Thank you, thank you very much! I'll be here all week! Order the veal!

Nowadays, Japaneese Kamikazee's have a sense of humor

Which way to the US Army base....er post office. Yeah... that's the ticket.

Who's crazier...the guy on the motorcycle or the guy smoking within 2 meters of those tanks?

China's been getting a lot more serious about population control lately!!!

Asian tanker truck.

The North Korean government has nuclear weapons, but the launching process is kinda on a budget

This idiot is the reason we can't drive with canisters of flammable gas anymore.

NASA's budget cuts led to a leaner solid rocket booster design.

I'm just begging to be blown up in an action-y car chase scene, aren't I?

That cactus isn't going to light itself

Here's Xin. He thought life was like a video game. Poor Xin. Poor, poor, stupid Xin.

When this thing hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious sushi!

You'll notice how many people won't get out of the way of this guy. THAT is why we don't want a war with China. A billion strong army of psychos that won't budge for shit.

Mr. Duchovny? We have your weekly order of Viagra. Sign here, please.

Bob's career at OSHA was short lived..