Other Craptions

The black guy does a double take, noticing that the woman's purse only has a spaghetti strap.

The caption on the statue says,"Women and children my ASS!"

No wonder he can't swim. He's plastered!

I think the life vest is there to cover up the fact that he's grabbing his crotch with his left hand.

Safety NEVER takes a vacation

Hundreds of people drowned at the pool before anyone realized the lifeguard was made of stone.

In the summer, they put another orange safety vest on him and make him clean up the park.

If you think helmet laws suck, life jacket laws are even worse.

A lot of good trhis life jacket is going to do. I'm made of fucking stone!

The vest distracts from the fact that the statue has his pants tucked into his boots.....

"It says: Please vote for my Craption because I couldn't think of anything funny to write!"

"here lies leif jeckat"

After making the sculpture more well endowed than humanly possible, the city fathers decided to cover it up with the vest, lest it attract gays to gather and meet.

Monument to Joshua Pickler, the first man to drown in a bathtub.

The black statues never got life-jackets AT ALL.

The pigeons hate these things.

"See? Right there! It says 'notorious homosexual'. You owe mw a dollar."

"You put that gum back right where you found it young lady!"

Look, Janey! It says this is a statue of the world's biggest douche bag...He took the last life jacket on the Titanic!

Somehow, "Superman: Man of Steel" sounds more badass than "Superman: Man of Marble, wearing an orange life preserver"

He's also wearing a condom. Can't be too safe you know!

And now this stae is crying because it doesn't have the money to pay me my tax refund!

Wait. Explain to me how the life jacket protects him from bird shit.

I never realized Paul Bunyan was a sea-faring man.

Monumentally retarded.

Its what all the statues are wearing.

Founder of the Coast Guard

Some complained that the Jeff Buckley memorial statue was in bad taste

Poseidon wearing that jacket makes you look like a pussy lol ZEUS

Yoeman Peterson didn't regret his prank until three months later, when he was the only one on-board his sinking vessel without a life-jacket.

If they wanted the statue to float, they should have carved it out of wood.

No I don't think we're overreacting to the threat of global warming at all. Now go finish taping water wings to the Lincoln Memorial.

The life jacket won't save you when the Mob decides to give you cement shoes with "a little extra."

Sure it's prepared for flooding, but where's the umbrella for when that tree falls on it?

A few people almost made it to the lifeboats leaving Pompeii.

The man passing in the foreground appreciates the city's effort to break the stereotype that only black guys can't swim.

It reads, "Killed by airbags"

A more practical garment would be a wide-brimmed hat to protect against the bird poopies.

The mafia spare no expense when it comes to making only the most ornate of cement shoes.

"You better appreciate that life jacket! There are drowning statues in Atlantis that would kill to be in your boots!"

Wallet? Check. Life jacket? Check. Water? Fuck me...

The sailors were still chuckling at their prank right up until their ship hit the rocks.

...because if it ever floods, who the fuck do you think is gonna sink first you stupid humans. The BIG FUCKING STATUE, THAT'S WHO!

And right there sat a stoner with a scholarship to Harvard. And beside him was a penguin holding a bottle of suntan lotion. And there was a blind man wearing eyeglasses. And there...

Global Warming does have it's benefits - this statue was in an ocean 75 years ago...

what you cant see is the 40 foot wave behind them

My first thought - why did someone actually make a lifejacket for a 12 foot tall person...

Whenever he went swimming he just sunk like a rock.

Tomb of the Unknown Sailor