Other Craptions

Crap... six more weeks of winter!

Years later, Boba Fett emerged with a resounding, "Suck It Sarlacc!"

I think somebody needs to check Charles Manson's cell.... just to be sure.

I guess it takes a long time to tunnel out of prison

Nothing is below the Underminer!

There is a fucking penny down here, and I WILL find it.

I thought the dirtiest hole was Lady Gaga. I stand corrected.

Hello? China?

It's the hole dirty hippies crawl out of! Quick, plug it up before anymore escape!

"It was this or watch Gigli. It's been 7 years now, but I stand by my choice."

I'm Chris Hansen. So I guess you were hoping to find minors playing in the sand.

No, he didn't hit a sewer line, he always smells like that.

Who knew the Addams Family's Cousin It had a day job?

"Huh, this sand isn't so quick," was Jebediah's final thought.

$50 says this story starts out with, "Ok, so we were so hammered..."

When it blossoms, we hope to have a whole harvest of little hillbillies...

It's Jethro, the lost Soggy Bottom Boy.

"This Easter egg hunt is bullshit."

The rarely-seen tunneling Amish.

Excuse me, I have a miner problem...

According to the new system of geology, digging a hole in point "AA Bottom" and tunneling straight through the earth will lead to an exit point of "ZZ Top".

He is so going to build the awesomest sand castle.

Promotional still from "Indiana Jones and the Four-Foot Sandhole." Yeah, George Lucas has pretty much just given up.

That son of a bitch Rasputin just doesn't want to die

Osama Bin Hiding.

Your asshole from a hole in the ground: a comparative study.

After the second month, Jim began to wonder if his friends were coming back.

Most coal mines use canaries to detect toxic leaks. This one uses Larry.

Yesterday's race between myself and Mr.Excalibur was pretty tight. Unlike your mother's... ah, never mind.

How dare you, Cracked. He's still a miner.

"This just in: Jesus has been cast as the lead for the new Tremors movie."

Well I didn't find any Morlocks, all I got was sand in my ass-crack.

"Didn't you read the sign? No Miners allowed!"

Uggg. I see Discovery Channel is pumping out yet another reality show.

The human litter box had a few minor drawbacks.

"So there I was, just MINING my own business..."

In a few moments, Scooby and the gang will unmask Miner '49, and find that he's really old man Wilson, with a boner.

There's one under every port-a-potty...

K, Joaquin Phoenix is no longer faking it.

12 years of geologic mapping. 5 sweeps with a ground penetrating radar. And $2 million in research from ExxonMobil. And you found . . . Sand. Turn in your ID badge and get out.

Coalminer's Daugh...Jihad?

Where will you be when diarrhea strikes?

Darnit, will the ghost of ZZ Top never stop haunting me?!

"Holy sand-in-a-beard! Looks like "The Miner" is caught in his own trap, Batman. Batman? ...Batman?"

Forrest Gump 2: I just fely like digging

The gravedigger and the executioner we both fired after several "corpses" dug free and wandered away.

I'll get that damn gopher yet.

Go ahead and laugh at him. There's a room under him and he's getting sucked off by a supermodel.

It's a shitty job, but it beats being a Toyota CEO.