Other Craptions

He was a bi-polar bear.

Turns out Eeyore isn't the best person to call when you're feeling suicidal.

Chris Nolan gives Winnie the Pooh a gritty reboot...

Teddy's leap to freedom was hindered by a loose thread.

Even after rigor mortis set in, Snuggles was still squeezably soft.

Pedophiles have to get very crafty with their child-catching techniques.

It seems Buzz Lightyear wasn't the first toy to be pushed out Andy's window by Woody.

After forty years, Christopher Robin made a grisly discovery when he returned to the Hundred Acre Wood.

Rupert hated to do it, but it was the only way to avoid hearing that damned Barney song again.

Winnie didn't like to talk about his brother, Losey the Shit.

This is where you end up when you get strung out on honey.

Rule 34 of the internet: There's a porn for EVERY audience.

Billy was going to get his bear to tell the truth about the Tooth Fairy if it killed him.

Maybe we should just have cleaned our rooms like Mom asked.

Where are they now? Care Bears edition.

Ted had no idea the Easter Bunny was so connected.

Snuggle's suicide note was on a dryer sheet.

David Bearradine?

He was not invited to the teddy bear picnic.

It's getting harder for producers of MI:4 to find an actor who will do his own stunts.

After hanging there for about 2 hours, it began to occur to him that he had no bones in his neck, or anywhere else for that matter, and that now he was stuck. It was not turning out to be the best day ever.

Clinically Depressed was the least popular Care Bear in the entire line.

This picture is about as funny as Family Circus.

My life is pooh...

Goldilocks 3: The Reckoning

Edgar Allan Pooh

The suicide note simply said "I can't live without you honey"

This is clearly an alternate reality where Canada didn't win the gold medal in hockey.

Now, that's a well hung bear...

Clearly, he tried to steal honey from Killer Bees.

Once Lost was over, Teddy had no reason to live.

David Carradine's favorite stuffed animal.

Tim Burton's bear Michael Bayed his Japan, but gritty reboot just couldn't witty pun.

Yeah, this is EXACTLY how I felt when I heard that there is going to be a second season of "Jersey Shore".

Winnie the Pooh committed suicide today after revealing photos of him with Christopher Robin went public...

Goldilocks was more than just a porridge thief...she was a skilled assassin.

ROSEBUD.

It took the police nearly a week to discover that there was a midget in that teddy bear suit.

The King of the Land of Misfit Toys decided to make an example out of Cuddles.

Never steal a picnic basket in Little Italy... never...

Fluffy was a My Chemical Romance fan...

Rupert never should have messed with Stewie Griffin's woman, er, man, um... partner.

He was polyfilled with sorrow.

Fuzzy Wuzzy couldn't take it. Was he fuzzy....or wazzn't he?!

Rest in peace Teddy Ruxpin: We hardly knew ye.

"No way this was a suicide sir, no way he could tie that without thumbs."

This wasn't exactly what I expected to find when I Googled "Chokin' my Grizzly"

"Someone call Christopher Robin... We're gonna need an ID."

After murdering over a dozen children, Teddy finally felt regret for his crimes, and apologized to their families in a suicide note. Police reporting to the scene all remarked how cute he looked.